Pizza: An Indicator of War?

Once again, pizza proves it has amazing abilities beyond what we see (and taste)!

As it turns out, the threat of global conflict may be hiding in plain sight—right between our garlic knots and extra-large meat lovers pizza. That’s right, the internet’s buzzing again about something known as the Pentagon Pizza Index, a semi-satirical, yet oddly accurate, way of predicting military action based on late-night pizza orders occurring around the Pentagon.

The latest case? Just before Israel launched it’s recent attack against Iran, eagle-eyed data nerds noticed sudden spikes in activity at Washington D.C. pizza places around the Pentagon. Orders lit up like a mozzarella-scented DEFCON warning. Hours later, Israel dropped bombs.

Coincidence? Or is pepperoni the new prophet?

A Slice of History

Believe it or not, this idea isn’t new. The whole thing traces back to the Cold War, when analysts began noticing that pizza deliveries near military intelligence hubs mysteriously surged before major events. The late Domino’s Pizza mogul Frank Meeks even bragged about delivering 21 pies to the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) headquarters the night before Iraq invaded Kuwait in 1990.

That’s right—while the rest of us were watching Cheers, someone was foreshadowing geopolitical chaos around a really big table with pepperoni, sausage, and mushrooms. The index rang true again before the Osama bin Laden raid in 2011, the U.S. strike on Syria in 2017, and at least a dozen other “weirdly busy pizza nights” before international drama.

Pizza: The New Crystal Ball

These days, amateur data analysts aren’t hiding in bushes—they’re scrolling Google Maps. Tools like delivery app trends and live foot traffic data let these internet sleuths monitor who’s lining up for a midnight slice. When Pentagon-area pizzerias show “unusual activity,” Reddit lights up and Twitter (sorry, X) starts forecasting war with extra cheese. And strangely, this concept has a track record. Some analysts say when paired with other behavioral signals—like black SUVs, late-night Uber rides, or sudden DoorDash spikes—the Pizza Index has been right about 70% of the time. Who knew geopolitics was just a side order away from predictive analytics?

“Always Monitor the Pizzas”

This quote is attributed to journalist Wolf Blitzer, who reportedly said it on CNN in 1990. Naturally, the Pentagon has denied it all, but let’s be honest: if five guys in suits start panic-ordering pepperoni at 11 p.m., something’s probably up. Whether it’s war games or just a classified meeting that could’ve been an email, we’re watching.

Forget spy satellites. Forget leaked documents. In 2025, if you want to know what’s coming next in world politics — just follow the crust.

~ Marty ~

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