Category: Random Posts
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The Dumpster Fire Rages On…
I’ve been asked why I haven’t written much lately. The short answer is I’ve been playing ostrich the last few months with my head in a hole wondering why the worst reality show in history got renewed for another season. By reality show, I mean the world we’re living in… I usually feel like my…
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Life Ruined: Gummy Bears Are NOT a Fruit
Sometimes things happen in life that are so disturbing your entire existence is altered. This was one of those times. Shortly after Christmas, I was looking for bargains on the clearance rack in a store. To my surprise, I found a package of name brand Christmas gummy bears, for 75% off. This was no ordinary…
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Do You Remember How To Use a VCR?
In my latest installment of, “Kids don’t know how good they have it today”, I was thinking about days past when you had to program a VCR to record a TV show. I was a kid in the 1980’s, so I wasn’t allowed to stay up late. Unfortunately, there were TV shows I really wanted…
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How My True Calling In Life Relates To Pizza
Think back to the classic 80’s movie, Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure… In the movie, a future society needed Bill and Ted to use their musical talents to save their world. I envision something similar happening in my life. At some point (hopefully soon), I truly believe I’m going to be contacted by time travelers…
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My Anger With the Teletubbies
The Teletubbies had 5 years to respond to my letters, but never did. That’s not cool. I wrote multiple letters to Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Laa-Laa and Po between 1997 and 2001. They never replied to any of them. I sent autograph requests as well as notes of admiration, but I never got so much as…
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September 10th, 2001 was the last “normal” day for America.
Those who experienced the tragic events of September 11th, 2001 will always remember exactly what they were doing when they heard the news of the attacks on America. The feelings we experienced will be forever ingrained in our minds as if they happened yesterday… Like the attack on Pearl Harbor and the assassination on John…
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Why Do We Care What Celebrities and Athletes Think?
Unless they’re talking about pizza or their given professions, the public really shouldn’t care much about what celebrities and professional sports figures have to say, especially when it comes to politics and current events of the world… It bothers me tremendously when I hear these people voicing their opinions about world affairs. What makes them…
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Cats and Pizza Do NOT Go Together
I received an e-mail today from Sarpino’s Pizza with this ad shown. It was promoting international cat day, with a special on pizzas. Maybe my sick and twisted mind misinterpreted this, but whoever wrote this ad obviously didn’t put much thought into it. The simple fact here is whether cat is on the pizza or…
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The Real Pandemic: Lack of Logic
The world worries about getting infected by covid-19, but there is another pandemic that seems to be spreading much faster: Ignorance and Stupidity. If you’re wondering what the difference is between ignorance and stupidity, ignorance implies a lack of knowledge. Stupidity is having the knowledge, but not using it. I’ll let you draw your own…
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The Positive Side of COVID-19
Covid-19 seemed to hit a virtual “reset” button for humanity, causing some things which might make life a little better in the long run (if humans are smart enough to see it). Millions of people in the United States are experiencing the side effects of the disease outbreak, but even in total darkness there is…
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If I Have to Wear a Mask…
Seeing how I’m told I must wear a mask, I may as well have some fun with it. On my daughter’s first day of high school, I said I was going to dress up like Batman and stand outside of the school waiting for her at dismissal. I thought her friends would think it was…
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Another of Life’s Big Questions
If you’re not going to eat your pizza crusts, why would you order bread sticks??? I’ve seen it more times than I care to admit. Someone orders a pizza, but while waiting for it to come out of the oven they order bread sticks as an appetizer. The sticks might be garlic bread, sometimes cheesy…
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World Problems Solved…
With all the anger, frustration and craziness in the world, there is a simple solution to our problems: We need more pizza. Pizza = Happy It’s that simple. When you eat pizza, you’re happy. A good pizza will make even the most angry or sad person smile. I hereby call out to governments of the…
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The Jetsons Were Psychic
The classic Hanna-Barbera TV cartoon, The Jetsons, was based in the year 2020. Now that 2020 is here, how much of what we saw on the show is actually real? The Jetsons originally aired in the early 1960s, before being revamped in the 1980s. The show offered a fun glimpse into what the producers imagined…
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Really Stupid Research Studies
Some researchers have way too much time on their hands, as shown by some of the studies referenced here. A major TV news outlet recently ran a story reporting findings which showed the number of school shootings are down tremendously in 2020, with the largest drop occurring in April. Umm, could that be because most…
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Did You Know There Was a Pizza Shortage?
Thanks to the hoarding craziness of Covid-19 and the quarantine, pizza was almost a rarity. When the quarantine first began in March of 2020, I’ll admit I did do a little grocery shopping in fear of being locked in my house for 30 days. I didn’t give in to the toilet paper hype, but I…
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Appreciating Those Who Deserve Thanks
Since the covid-19 breakout, lots of people, and occupations, are receiving public thanks for all they do to help others, but shouldn’t these people be appreciated everyday? Hospital workers, police officers, firefighters, paramedics/EMTs, truck drivers, store workers, and so on, and so on… The media keeps talking about the “brave” workers who show up for…
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The Enviromental Disaster Known as My Yard
Some people spend time beautifying their yards because it’s relaxing. I spend time in my yard cleaning up trash, and it’s anything but relaxing. To preface this story, let me just say the trash is NOT mine. A couple years back I bought an “as is” house. If you don’t know, that means the seller…
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How Will You Spend Your Stimulus Money?
With the US Government sending out checks to help stimulate the economy, have you thought about where your money will go? For those who are out of work and needed this money to pay rent, buy food, or just survive in general, I feel for you and I’m glad you got it, but for many…
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No News Is Good News
I want you to read to my posts as a good distraction. I feel bad I’ve contributed to the “news” we don’t want to be depressed with. I usually write about ridiculous things that happen in my life, but being quarantined has basically shut me off from the stupid people of the world. Maybe that’s…
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Dogs Are Cool (A COVID-19 Distraction Post)
Are you sick of reading about coronavirus and COVID-19? If so, here’s a distraction post to remind you there is still some fun and happy in the world… Dogs Rock. That’s all I have to say. Here are some pictures of cute dogs to brighten your day. Enjoy and Share.
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Am I The Only American Not Worried About Wiping My Butt?
Is hoarding toilet paper really America’s COVID-19 emergency plan? While the rest of the world is working hard to purify and sanitize, American’s are worried about wiping their butts. March 12th, 2020 was a game changer (pun intended) in American history. The NCAA March Madness basketball tournaments were cancelled, as was the NBA season (no…
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Someone In My Neighborhood Has Coronavirus…
As panic ensues around the world because of the COVID-19 coronavirus, it’s finally hit close to home. But while it’s now “relevant” in my area, it’s not really going to change anything. It was announced that a COVID-19 case has been been confirmed in my town. While the media wants the public to think the…
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The Decline of Grocery Store Etiquette
I try not to stress over “little” things, but sometimes the “little” things are what make the world a better place. This post brings to light a problem which is not bound by age, race, gender or geographic boundaries. It’s a subtle societal abnormality that can be witnessed by anyone, literally every time we venture…
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Can Super Bowl Half Time Shows Get Any Worse? Apparently, Yes!
With a worldwide audience of nearly a hundred million viewers, you’d think the show producers would want to create the best performance ever. That no longer seems to be the case. I’m specifically referring to the performance of pop music singers Shakira and Jennifer Lopez during the Super Bowl LIV Half Time Show, held on…
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Give Attention to What Really Matters
On January 26th, 2020, basketball player Kobe Bryant and his 13 year old daughter died in a fiery helicopter crash in California. What the media didn’t tell you was there were seven other people on the same helicopter, yet there was hardly any mention of them… I usually write about fun, silly, or off the…
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Oh, The Things I Think About…
Sometimes random thoughts pop in my head that occupy far too much time and energy… The world and this ridiculous thing called life are funny. Not funny as in humorous, but funny like quirky. I often find myself caught up in this quirkiness pondering things most people probably don’t ponder. Do you think space aliens…
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Interesting Comments From The Past
It’s easy to take our modern life for granted, but there was once a time, not too long ago, when things in our world appeared to be very different. There were some memes getting posted recently on social media titled, Comments Made in 1957. I did some research and found many of the comments are…
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The Unethical World We Live In…
As you try to get ahead in life, there will always be someone trying to take what you’ve got. You need to pay attention, especially when it comes to your daily finances. Greed rules our world. There will ALWAYS be someone out there who is trying to take advantage of you. In many cases, that…
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How Do People Live Without Pizza?
There are many places in the world where pizza is not a meal choice. People in a civilized world shouldn’t have to live like this. I get frustrated because there are no good pizza places in the area around my house, but can you believe there are places in the world where they’ve never seen…
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If I Could Make a Million Dollars…
The fact of the matter is, you CAN make a million dollars, and most Americans DO. The problem is where the money goes. For whatever reason, $1,000,000 is a magic number that we strive for to think we’re “rich”, but in theory, a million dollars isn’t really that much. As such, most working Americans with…
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You Meet The Nicest People in Truck Stop Bathrooms
Anyone who travels by automobile knows the pleasure of stopping at truck stops. They offer fuel, food, and sometimes even a little late night companionship. I’ll be the first to admit I’m not the most attractive man in the world. I don’t get hit on often, but the romantic glow of the fluorescent light in…
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Another Year Down The Toilet
Rather than my usual year end loathing, I figured I would just wish my readers a Happy New Year. I truly appreciate you taking the time to read my random rants and rampant complaining about how miserable this existence we call life can be. I probably wouldn’t have much to write about if my life…
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Online Dating is Like Used Car Shopping
They might look good in the pictures, but you know there is probably something wrong with them. The malfunction may not be apparent at first, but over time, something is bound to go wrong. You’ve been looking around for a while, trying to find what’s right for you. You know what you want, and what…
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There HAS to be intelligent life in the universe…
If humanity is the best the universe has to offer, an asteroid needs to take out the Earth immediately. It’s extremely conceited to think humans are the only “intelligent” species in the universe. The evidence I use to defend my belief in extraterrestrial life is the fact that humanity is far from intelligent. People ask…
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The Time I Ate 30 Year Old Gum
While it sounds like it’d be gross, it was only kind of gross. You’ll really only understand this post if you’re older than 40… A few years back, I was shopping in an antique store. I came across a pile of 1980’s baseball card packs for a pretty cheap price, so I bought them. I’m…
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Pulling Facial Hairs With Pliers
Despite the fact that it’s really painful, I do it because I can’t afford laser hair removal. It’s not uncommon for people to pluck a stray hair using tweezers, but for me, I use the pliers on my multi-tool. Why? Because it works! When I say it’s painful, it’s not excruciating pain, but it’s not…
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Another Annoying Pet Peeve – Auto Dealer Branding
Why do customers provide free advertising for auto dealerships long after driving a new vehicle off the lot? When you buy a vehicle from a dealership, they will almost always slap on some subtle (or not so subtle) advertising to promote their business. This advertising is usually either a sticker on the back featuring the…
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Manifesting: The Universe Got My Order Wrong
When placing orders with higher powers, be careful. You might end up with something you never expected. Apparently the universe doesn’t work like Amazon. You can’t return or exchange what you’ve received, but sometimes it’s better that way. If you’re not aware, “manifesting” is the ability to use your mind to will your thoughts, dreams…
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Pet Peeve # 43: People Who Don’t Know How To Merge On The Highway
There was an Aaliyah song back in 1998 called “Are You That Somebody?” I’ve adapted that song to this article. Are YOU that somebody who doesn’t know how to merge when getting on the highway? This post is going to be short and to the point. Please view the photo below as an educational lesson.…
Words with Pizza - Featuring Marty the Pizza Guy 