Tag: food
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The Sad Truth About Statistics
When we think about “acceptable” numbers in our lives, life can be pretty scary. In a perfect world, 100% of something would provide assurance. If we board an airplane, we’d like to know 100% of the parts work. We’d like to know 100% of the passengers have been checked for weapons. We’d like to think…
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Common Sense, or Not…
I went in to a fast food restaurant to get a drink. I only ordered a fountain drink. Just a cup of soda, which I’d have to fill myself at the self-service dispenser. The teen-age cashier hands me a cup and lid, then asks, “Is this for here or to go?” I said, “It’s a…
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Stop Eating Appetizers!
Why do you want to fill up on something before your dinner arrives? The concept of appetizers simply doesn’t make sense. It makes me wonder why anyone would eat a salad while waiting for a pizza. It makes me wonder (and pains my heart) why anyone would eat anything while waiting for a pizza (or…
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I Got a Cheese Slicer From Tajikistan
Every once in a while, I get random things delivered to my house that I did not order. Some people might find this annoying, but I find it entertaining. I routinely get mail delivered to my house that is not addressed to me. This type of mail is an understandable mistake because people lived in…
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Lazy People Are Hindering Me
People not wanting to work is interfering with my pizza eating… One of my co-workers ordered pizza for a lunch meeting. After waiting over an hour for the delivery, I called the store to see where our food was. The manager apologized for the delay, saying they did not have any delivery drivers. Ummm… Maybe…
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Covid Finally Hits Home
Everyone has been affected by by Covid-19 in different ways. For me, something tragic happened that was beyond anything I could have ever imagined. We knew Covid-19 would cause sickness. We knew it would cause death. We knew it would cause disruptions and chaos in our world, but for me, the unthinkable happened. My favorite…
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Does Anyone Still Call In Pizza Orders?
Once upon a time in our recent history we actually talked to people on the phone. Not anymore. Long before the days or Doordash or Grub Hub, I can remember when I actually had to make a call to order food. When online pizza ordering was first being implemented I kept asking myself, WHY? I…
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Life Ruined: Gummy Bears Are NOT a Fruit
Sometimes things happen in life that are so disturbing your entire existence is altered. This was one of those times. Shortly after Christmas, I was looking for bargains on the clearance rack in a store. To my surprise, I found a package of name brand Christmas gummy bears, for 75% off. This was no ordinary…
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How My True Calling In Life Relates To Pizza
Think back to the classic 80’s movie, Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure… In the movie, a future society needed Bill and Ted to use their musical talents to save their world. I envision something similar happening in my life. At some point (hopefully soon), I truly believe I’m going to be contacted by time travelers…
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Cats and Pizza Do NOT Go Together
I received an e-mail today from Sarpino’s Pizza with this ad shown. It was promoting international cat day, with a special on pizzas. Maybe my sick and twisted mind misinterpreted this, but whoever wrote this ad obviously didn’t put much thought into it. The simple fact here is whether cat is on the pizza or…
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Why I Talk About Pizza All The Time
I’m like Indiana Jones, but instead of looking for crystal skulls, I search the world for the perfect pizza. Indy shared his stories of his travels, as do I. My stories just happen to involve pizza. Is that really such a bad thing? Some people drink alcohol, others do drugs. I eat pizza. Why? Because…
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Another of Life’s Big Questions
If you’re not going to eat your pizza crusts, why would you order bread sticks??? I’ve seen it more times than I care to admit. Someone orders a pizza, but while waiting for it to come out of the oven they order bread sticks as an appetizer. The sticks might be garlic bread, sometimes cheesy…
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World Problems Solved…
With all the anger, frustration and craziness in the world, there is a simple solution to our problems: We need more pizza. Pizza = Happy It’s that simple. When you eat pizza, you’re happy. A good pizza will make even the most angry or sad person smile. I hereby call out to governments of the…
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Did You Know There Was a Pizza Shortage?
Thanks to the hoarding craziness of Covid-19 and the quarantine, pizza was almost a rarity. When the quarantine first began in March of 2020, I’ll admit I did do a little grocery shopping in fear of being locked in my house for 30 days. I didn’t give in to the toilet paper hype, but I…
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How Do People Live Without Pizza?
There are many places in the world where pizza is not a meal choice. People in a civilized world shouldn’t have to live like this. I get frustrated because there are no good pizza places in the area around my house, but can you believe there are places in the world where they’ve never seen…
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Pizza Related Injuries – A Sad Reality
Pizza is usually the solution to all of life’s problems, but it also can cause a few problems if you’re not careful. Pizza is the most magical of all foods. It satisfies hunger, it improves your mood, and it’s just an all around fun food to make and eat. It pains me to write something…
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The Time I Ate 30 Year Old Gum
While it sounds like it’d be gross, it was only kind of gross. You’ll really only understand this post if you’re older than 40… A few years back, I was shopping in an antique store. I came across a pile of 1980’s baseball card packs for a pretty cheap price, so I bought them. I’m…
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The Sad Part of Being a Pizza Junkie
Pizza is usually the most beneficial thing in the universe, but sometimes pizza can actually let you down. Pizza is my life. There is no question about that. It’s my go-to when I’m happy, or when I’m sad. It’s always there for me to offer a non judgemental slice. But what happens when it doesn’t?…
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Mail Order Ice Cream: It’s a Real Thing
The internet is great for finding amazing shopping deals, but who knew you could buy ice cream online. Yes, ice cream. I’m not talking about Grubhub or an Uber Eats type online business. Nor am I referring to home grocery delivery delivery from your local store. I’m talking about real, cold, icey, creamy delicious, yummy…
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Eating Smart: What They Really Meant
If you’re on a diet, you can still eat pizza… Just eat 3 slices instead of 6! (Look at the Picture) Follow my blog for more great dieting tips like this and other amazing posts you didn’t know you needed in your life!
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Pizza and Bad Math: A Losing Combo
When it comes to pizza, knowing the basics of math is critical to a happy life! We sometimes make irrational decisions when we’re hungry… I was in Costco, a store well known for saving money. In theory, saving money is the main reason people shop there. They also have a food court in the store…
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Is There Ever A Bad Time For Pizza?
The answer is absolutely not! Any time is a good time for pizza. Is there a point to this post? Nope. It’s just a friendly reminder of the happiness pizza can bring. This has been a public service announcement brought you by Marty. Follow my blog for more great wisdom.
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Free Pizza For A Year
Winning the prize of your dreams would usually make someone excited and happy, but sometimes it can also disappoint in a big way. One of my well known traits is eating lots of pizza. It always has been, and God willing, it’ll continue to be for a long time to come. One of my hobbies…
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Fresh, Hot Rolls: A Lost Art
There are cookie and donut bakeries. There are cupcake bakeries and there are bakeries in grocery stores, but “mom and pop” corner bakeries of days past where you could get fresh, hot bread and rolls are becoming a rarity. I love to eat fresh, hot rolls. On Saturday mornings when I was a kid, my…
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I’m a Social Outcast Because I Don’t Drink Coffee
Coffee has become such a staple of “normal” life, it’s almost like insulting someone’s mother to say you don’t drink it. But being that I’m far from “normal”, I’m okay with being an outcast. It happens all the time. At Work: “Oh my God, I need some coffee, come on, let’s go get some” Meeting…
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Dieting Truths: Pizza Meal Planning
In a time where trendy diets are the thing, my pizza only diet will make me famous. Pizza is all you need. True story. When you talk to people who are on diets, they’re always grumpy. Life is too short to be grumpy. If you follow this meal planning schedule, you’ll be happy: Monday: Pizza…
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Mmm… Radioactive Pizza
If the world experienced another nuclear meltdown, how would the pizza taste? Inquiring minds want to know… “Just try it”, they said..”You’ll be fine”. “But, the pizza is glowing.” “Oh come on, man up. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right?” “Oh, alright. What’s the worst that could happen.” – Another oddity from the…
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Pineapple on Pizza: Just Say NO!
Pineapple pizza is a danger to our way of life. It’s time to take a stand against this monster. Just Say NO! _________________________________________________________________________________ There are certain things in life you probably shouldn’t do: You shouldn’t use a lighter to remove nose hairs (that was a lesson learned). You shouldn’t lick door knobs in public bathrooms…
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Pizza Before Fast Food – ALWAYS
In a time where everyone is health conscious and on a budget, why would anyone eat anything other than pizza? As much as I like pizza, I’ll admit I do like assorted fast food also. Back in the day, I used to enjoy hitting up a value deal once in a while for lunch because…
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How a defective straw made my day…
We get so wrapped up in the craziness of life we often miss the little things. When you find some of those little things, life is so much better. I hadn’t been to McDonald’s in long time. Despite my better judgement, my kids convinced me to go. While waiting for the food to be brought…
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Living as a Frugal Cheapskate
When you live paycheck to paycheck, living cheap is the only way to survive. Sometimes you have to get creative, but it’s not hard to do! There is no way around the fact that I’m poor. I have a job, but life has an odd way of seeing to it that I never get ahead.…
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A Fast Food Curiosity
This story isn’t really anything important. It’s just something I thought of while enjoying some fine dining recently. I was in Wendy’s restaurant a few days ago. I saw they had a dollar deal on fries. When I was at the counter I told the cashier I’d like an order of fries. She asked me…
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Frozen Pizza? Make the Right Choice
I spend far too much time in the frozen pizza section of the grocery store… Remember when you were a kid visiting the toy section of store? There were so many things to choose from. You looked at the selection with wide eyes running back and forth trying to decide what you wanted. You didn’t…
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Pizza: The Key to Happiness
People always say “find your happy.” For some, this is sometimes difficult, but for me all I had to do was look at what was often right in front of me. I need pizza. This may sound like something we’ve all said at some point in our lives, but for me it goes beyond a…
Words with Pizza - Featuring Marty the Pizza Guy 