Tag: humor
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The Sun is Smiling On Us!
Kids love to draw pictures of the sun with a big smile. NASA has proof now the sun really does smile on it’s face! This picture is too good not to share with the world. In October of 2022, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) captured this unique photo of the sun with it’s…
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Have Fun With Phone Scammers
Quite often when your phone rings, it’s not someone you know. It’s an automated “robo” call telling you it’s time to renew your car warranty, or an offer to lower your student loan rate. Most people are annoyed by these calls, but they can be quite fun if you’re bored. Every day, millions of these…
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Social Defiance: A Four Month Christmas
It’s one thing to leave Christmas lights up year round, but where do we draw the line with yard decorations? This post was written on February 1st. As I was driving around assorted neighborhoods on this fine February 1st day, I saw many homes with their Christmas spirit still standing proud. Not one home or…
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Papa John’s NY Style Pizza Isn’t Really NY Style…
Just because a pizza calls itself New York style doesn’t mean it’s actually New York style. The Papa Johns pizza franchise recently introduced a new addition to their menu; New York Style. While this seemingly sounds like a good thing, it really isn’t anything more than marketing fraud. I used to think it wasn’t possible…
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The Right Way To Eat Pizza
How you eat your slice says lots about what kind of person you are… Are you a folder or do you eat it straight? Do you use a knife and fork to cut your pizza? Do you eat the crust end first? There are so many ways to eat a slice, but is there a…
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Motivation (or, lack of)
In the 1800’s, pioneers in the United States packed up their lives, leaving everything behind to head west. They braved unbelievable hardships, often fighting for their lives each day. They fought cold, heat, starvation, violent attacks, and extreme boredom, yet they managed to push through it all because they knew a better life awaited them.…
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The Sad Truth About Statistics
When we think about “acceptable” numbers in our lives, life can be pretty scary. In a perfect world, 100% of something would provide assurance. If we board an airplane, we’d like to know 100% of the parts work. We’d like to know 100% of the passengers have been checked for weapons. We’d like to think…
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Common Sense, or Not…
I went in to a fast food restaurant to get a drink. I only ordered a fountain drink. Just a cup of soda, which I’d have to fill myself at the self-service dispenser. The teen-age cashier hands me a cup and lid, then asks, “Is this for here or to go?” I said, “It’s a…
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Stop Eating Appetizers!
Why do you want to fill up on something before your dinner arrives? The concept of appetizers simply doesn’t make sense. It makes me wonder why anyone would eat a salad while waiting for a pizza. It makes me wonder (and pains my heart) why anyone would eat anything while waiting for a pizza (or…
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I Got a Cheese Slicer From Tajikistan
Every once in a while, I get random things delivered to my house that I did not order. Some people might find this annoying, but I find it entertaining. I routinely get mail delivered to my house that is not addressed to me. This type of mail is an understandable mistake because people lived in…
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Where Is Everyone Going?
There are always plenty of people driving on roads and highways, and there are always lots of people out walking around, but where is everybody going? They can’t all be going to work. They can’t all be going to school. They can’t all go to Walmart. They can’t all be at the pool. They can’t…
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Lazy People Are Hindering Me
People not wanting to work is interfering with my pizza eating… One of my co-workers ordered pizza for a lunch meeting. After waiting over an hour for the delivery, I called the store to see where our food was. The manager apologized for the delay, saying they did not have any delivery drivers. Ummm… Maybe…
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Covid Finally Hits Home
Everyone has been affected by by Covid-19 in different ways. For me, something tragic happened that was beyond anything I could have ever imagined. We knew Covid-19 would cause sickness. We knew it would cause death. We knew it would cause disruptions and chaos in our world, but for me, the unthinkable happened. My favorite…
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More First World Problems.
If I only had a little bit more money to spend frivolously… I found a television that I want. Or maybe I should say, a television that I NEED. It was on sale for $29,995, marked down from $35,995. It cost that much because it was an 88″ OLED 8K unit.. I would literally need…
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The Internet Wouldn’t Lie
There are times in life when you know you’re right… You’re sitting around with your friends having an argument about something pointless and stupid. At some point in the conversation, someone says, “Dude, you’re wrong.” Determined to prove you’re right, you proclaim, “It’s on the internet. I’ll prove it!” Despite the fact there may be…
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No One Is Ever Happy…
No matter what happens, there will always be something to complain about in life. This is especially true when it comes to the weather. I live in the Midwest United States, right in the heart of America. We have crazy weather swings of hot and cold, wet and dry, and everything in between. It’s not…
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Does Anyone Still Call In Pizza Orders?
Once upon a time in our recent history we actually talked to people on the phone. Not anymore. Long before the days or Doordash or Grub Hub, I can remember when I actually had to make a call to order food. When online pizza ordering was first being implemented I kept asking myself, WHY? I…
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The Real Reason Aliens Visit Earth: Pizza
If your planet isn’t in the pizza delivery zone, what would you do??? In 2001, Pizza Hut became the first restaurant to deliver pizza into space when they sent pizza by rocket to the residents of the International Space Station who were orbiting Earth. If I was the astronaut who opened the hatch when it…
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Money, Money, Money…
With it being tax season in the United States, it’s a time to think about how much money we have, or don’t have. What sucks most about tax time is reflecting on how much money we made over the course of the year, but our bank account doesn’t seem to reflect that amount. It happens…
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The Dumpster Fire Rages On…
I’ve been asked why I haven’t written much lately. The short answer is I’ve been playing ostrich the last few months with my head in a hole wondering why the worst reality show in history got renewed for another season. By reality show, I mean the world we’re living in… I usually feel like my…
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Life Ruined: Gummy Bears Are NOT a Fruit
Sometimes things happen in life that are so disturbing your entire existence is altered. This was one of those times. Shortly after Christmas, I was looking for bargains on the clearance rack in a store. To my surprise, I found a package of name brand Christmas gummy bears, for 75% off. This was no ordinary…
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Do You Remember How To Use a VCR?
In my latest installment of, “Kids don’t know how good they have it today”, I was thinking about days past when you had to program a VCR to record a TV show. I was a kid in the 1980’s, so I wasn’t allowed to stay up late. Unfortunately, there were TV shows I really wanted…
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How My True Calling In Life Relates To Pizza
Think back to the classic 80’s movie, Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure… In the movie, a future society needed Bill and Ted to use their musical talents to save their world. I envision something similar happening in my life. At some point (hopefully soon), I truly believe I’m going to be contacted by time travelers…
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My Anger With the Teletubbies
The Teletubbies had 5 years to respond to my letters, but never did. That’s not cool. I wrote multiple letters to Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Laa-Laa and Po between 1997 and 2001. They never replied to any of them. I sent autograph requests as well as notes of admiration, but I never got so much as…
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Why Do We Care What Celebrities and Athletes Think?
Unless they’re talking about pizza or their given professions, the public really shouldn’t care much about what celebrities and professional sports figures have to say, especially when it comes to politics and current events of the world… It bothers me tremendously when I hear these people voicing their opinions about world affairs. What makes them…
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Cats and Pizza Do NOT Go Together
I received an e-mail today from Sarpino’s Pizza with this ad shown. It was promoting international cat day, with a special on pizzas. Maybe my sick and twisted mind misinterpreted this, but whoever wrote this ad obviously didn’t put much thought into it. The simple fact here is whether cat is on the pizza or…
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Why I Talk About Pizza All The Time
I’m like Indiana Jones, but instead of looking for crystal skulls, I search the world for the perfect pizza. Indy shared his stories of his travels, as do I. My stories just happen to involve pizza. Is that really such a bad thing? Some people drink alcohol, others do drugs. I eat pizza. Why? Because…
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The Real Pandemic: Lack of Logic
The world worries about getting infected by covid-19, but there is another pandemic that seems to be spreading much faster: Ignorance and Stupidity. If you’re wondering what the difference is between ignorance and stupidity, ignorance implies a lack of knowledge. Stupidity is having the knowledge, but not using it. I’ll let you draw your own…
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If I Have to Wear a Mask…
Seeing how I’m told I must wear a mask, I may as well have some fun with it. On my daughter’s first day of high school, I said I was going to dress up like Batman and stand outside of the school waiting for her at dismissal. I thought her friends would think it was…
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Another of Life’s Big Questions
If you’re not going to eat your pizza crusts, why would you order bread sticks??? I’ve seen it more times than I care to admit. Someone orders a pizza, but while waiting for it to come out of the oven they order bread sticks as an appetizer. The sticks might be garlic bread, sometimes cheesy…
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The Jetsons Were Psychic
The classic Hanna-Barbera TV cartoon, The Jetsons, was based in the year 2020. Now that 2020 is here, how much of what we saw on the show is actually real? The Jetsons originally aired in the early 1960s, before being revamped in the 1980s. The show offered a fun glimpse into what the producers imagined…
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Really Stupid Research Studies
Some researchers have way too much time on their hands, as shown by some of the studies referenced here. A major TV news outlet recently ran a story reporting findings which showed the number of school shootings are down tremendously in 2020, with the largest drop occurring in April. Umm, could that be because most…
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Did You Know There Was a Pizza Shortage?
Thanks to the hoarding craziness of Covid-19 and the quarantine, pizza was almost a rarity. When the quarantine first began in March of 2020, I’ll admit I did do a little grocery shopping in fear of being locked in my house for 30 days. I didn’t give in to the toilet paper hype, but I…
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The Enviromental Disaster Known as My Yard
Some people spend time beautifying their yards because it’s relaxing. I spend time in my yard cleaning up trash, and it’s anything but relaxing. To preface this story, let me just say the trash is NOT mine. A couple years back I bought an “as is” house. If you don’t know, that means the seller…
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No News Is Good News
I want you to read to my posts as a good distraction. I feel bad I’ve contributed to the “news” we don’t want to be depressed with. I usually write about ridiculous things that happen in my life, but being quarantined has basically shut me off from the stupid people of the world. Maybe that’s…
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Dogs Are Cool (A COVID-19 Distraction Post)
Are you sick of reading about coronavirus and COVID-19? If so, here’s a distraction post to remind you there is still some fun and happy in the world… Dogs Rock. That’s all I have to say. Here are some pictures of cute dogs to brighten your day. Enjoy and Share.
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Am I The Only American Not Worried About Wiping My Butt?
Is hoarding toilet paper really America’s COVID-19 emergency plan? While the rest of the world is working hard to purify and sanitize, American’s are worried about wiping their butts. March 12th, 2020 was a game changer (pun intended) in American history. The NCAA March Madness basketball tournaments were cancelled, as was the NBA season (no…
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Someone In My Neighborhood Has Coronavirus…
As panic ensues around the world because of the COVID-19 coronavirus, it’s finally hit close to home. But while it’s now “relevant” in my area, it’s not really going to change anything. It was announced that a COVID-19 case has been been confirmed in my town. While the media wants the public to think the…
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The Decline of Grocery Store Etiquette
I try not to stress over “little” things, but sometimes the “little” things are what make the world a better place. This post brings to light a problem which is not bound by age, race, gender or geographic boundaries. It’s a subtle societal abnormality that can be witnessed by anyone, literally every time we venture…
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Can Super Bowl Half Time Shows Get Any Worse? Apparently, Yes!
With a worldwide audience of nearly a hundred million viewers, you’d think the show producers would want to create the best performance ever. That no longer seems to be the case. I’m specifically referring to the performance of pop music singers Shakira and Jennifer Lopez during the Super Bowl LIV Half Time Show, held on…
Words with Pizza - Featuring Marty the Pizza Guy 