Tag: humor
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Getting Married? Choose the BEST First Dance Song
The symbolic first dance at a wedding reception sets the musical tone for your new life together, but before you tell the DJ to play that special song, make sure it’s the right one. Perhaps the chorus of your favorite song has some words which resonate with your mushy feelings. Maybe “your” song was the…
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If Dogs Could Talk…
If your dog could speak human words, what would they say? Here’s an interpretation of how a conversation might go with your dog. This post is adapted from a funny meme I saw recently: Dog: What Doing? Me: Nothing. I just stood up. Dog: Where Go? Me: I’m going to get a drink. Dog: Can…
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An Open Letter to Publisher’s Clearing House…
This is an open letter to anyone at Publisher’s Clearing House regarding why I’ve not yet received any of my promised prize money. Do you know how many times I’ve sat at my window, watching for the prize patrol van to pull up at my house? One time I thought it was you, but it…
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I’m a Social Outcast Because I Don’t Drink Coffee
Coffee has become such a staple of “normal” life, it’s almost like insulting someone’s mother to say you don’t drink it. But being that I’m far from “normal”, I’m okay with being an outcast. It happens all the time. At Work: “Oh my God, I need some coffee, come on, let’s go get some” Meeting…
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A 4th of July Poem
Rose are Red, The Sky is Blue It’s the 4th of July. I need food. Here’s another one: It’s July fourth, fireworks go boom The air smells like gunpowder My yard smells like dog poo. Sorry, poems aren’t my thing. Regardless, have a safe & happy day. — Marty — _____________________________________________________________________________________________ If you’re not…
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Mmm… Radioactive Pizza
If the world experienced another nuclear meltdown, how would the pizza taste? Inquiring minds want to know… “Just try it”, they said..”You’ll be fine”. “But, the pizza is glowing.” “Oh come on, man up. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right?” “Oh, alright. What’s the worst that could happen.” – Another oddity from the…
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Who Thought Kidz Bop Was A Good Idea?
Kidz Bop is a musical nightmare, quite possibly thought up by Satan to torture those who walk the Earth. If you’re not familiar with Kidz Bop, be very grateful. Many parents don’t want their kids listening to pop music because of the inappropriate messages in the lyrics. Sometimes they may not the like the artist…
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OCR: Obsessive Compulsive Recycling
Recycling is generally good for everyone, but things can get interesting when obsessive compulsiveness is thrown into the mix. Like many other Americans, I recycle because it’s the right thing to do. I routinely recycle far more than what I put in my trash can. Does this make me special? Not really, but it’s how…
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Procrastination and Useless Facts
Time is a valuable thing, yet we continually waste it. When it’s gone, it’s gone and we’ll never get it back. If we know the resources of time are limited, why do we care so little about it? _____________________________________________________________________________________ I learned the word cereal is derived from the name of Ceres, the goddess of agriculture,…
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A Fast Food Curiosity
This story isn’t really anything important. It’s just something I thought of while enjoying some fine dining recently. I was in Wendy’s restaurant a few days ago. I saw they had a dollar deal on fries. When I was at the counter I told the cashier I’d like an order of fries. She asked me…
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What’s Wrong with People #1
I decided to start a series titled “What’s Wrong with People”. Why? Because I’m tired of trying to figure out what the heck is wrong with people. Maybe someone else has an answer. I’d been thinking of doing a “stupid things people do” article for a while, but I’ve been sidetracked (shiny things, loud noises,…