Tag: writing
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I Should Be A Life Coach
Everybody has problems. I should be getting paid to tell them so! I know a life coach. At first glance, he does not seem like a very good one though. Phrases that are frequently heard coming out of his mouth include, “Suck it up”, “Get over yourself”, and “Life sucks, so deal with it.” These…
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Spider-Man Was A Lie
What happens in the movies is quite different from what happens in reality, especially when it comes to getting bit by a dangerous spider. In the continuing saga of never ending shenanigans I call my life, I had the honor of getting bit by a spider. While this does not seem like something to be…
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Why Were The 2022 Winter Olympics Held In Beijing?
One would think the winter Olympics would be held in a place where there is snow, but in 2022, that was not the case when the games were held in Beijing. I live in Kansas City. It gets cold here, and we get a little bit of snow each year, averaging maybe a foot or…
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Not The Worst Super Bowl Halftime Show Ever, But…
Questioning whether the 2022 Super Bowl Halftime Show featuring Snoop Dogg, Dr. Dre, Eminem, 50 Cent, Kendrick Lamar, and Mary J. Blige was good or not depends on whether or not you think American morals and values have gone down the toilet. Thirty years ago or so, Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre were social outcasts,…
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Have Fun With Phone Scammers
Quite often when your phone rings, it’s not someone you know. It’s an automated “robo” call telling you it’s time to renew your car warranty, or an offer to lower your student loan rate. Most people are annoyed by these calls, but they can be quite fun if you’re bored. Every day, millions of these…
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Social Defiance: A Four Month Christmas
It’s one thing to leave Christmas lights up year round, but where do we draw the line with yard decorations? This post was written on February 1st. As I was driving around assorted neighborhoods on this fine February 1st day, I saw many homes with their Christmas spirit still standing proud. Not one home or…
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Why Should I Pay For Food?
I was in a pizza restaurant and had just placed my order. I paid then sat down as I waited for my food. Moments later, a homeless man walked in and proceeded to walk around the restaurant asking people for pizza. He appeared to be either drunk or high on something. When none of the…
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Papa John’s NY Style Pizza Isn’t Really NY Style…
Just because a pizza calls itself New York style doesn’t mean it’s actually New York style. The Papa Johns pizza franchise recently introduced a new addition to their menu; New York Style. While this seemingly sounds like a good thing, it really isn’t anything more than marketing fraud. I used to think it wasn’t possible…
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The Right Way To Eat Pizza
How you eat your slice says lots about what kind of person you are… Are you a folder or do you eat it straight? Do you use a knife and fork to cut your pizza? Do you eat the crust end first? There are so many ways to eat a slice, but is there a…
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Pizza on Thanksgiving?
I eat pizza on Thanksgiving… Who cares, right? Apparently many people do. In the days following each Thanksgiving, I often find myself in the usual post-holiday conversational social banter with friend and co-workers. While most bragged about big meals with family, traditions, travel and so forth, here’s how my interactions usually go. Them: How was…
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Writing is Hard (Advice For New Writers)…
Blogging is a weird game. Sometimes you win, sometimes you don’t. If you’ve ever walked around a in a big city or tourist area, you’ve probably seen a wide variety of street performers fighting for your attention (and money). Everywhere you turn there is someone doing something pointless or stupid, just wanting you to stop…
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The Sad Truth About Statistics
When we think about “acceptable” numbers in our lives, life can be pretty scary. In a perfect world, 100% of something would provide assurance. If we board an airplane, we’d like to know 100% of the parts work. We’d like to know 100% of the passengers have been checked for weapons. We’d like to think…
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Common Sense, or Not…
I went in to a fast food restaurant to get a drink. I only ordered a fountain drink. Just a cup of soda, which I’d have to fill myself at the self-service dispenser. The teen-age cashier hands me a cup and lid, then asks, “Is this for here or to go?” I said, “It’s a…
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More Random Life Advice
If you have a dog, you need a good vacuum cleaner! It never fails to amaze me how much dog hair I pick up, and I vacuum at least weekly. Based on the amount of hair I pick up, you would think my dog should be bald, but he always seems to have plenty more…
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Stop Eating Appetizers!
Why do you want to fill up on something before your dinner arrives? The concept of appetizers simply doesn’t make sense. It makes me wonder why anyone would eat a salad while waiting for a pizza. It makes me wonder (and pains my heart) why anyone would eat anything while waiting for a pizza (or…
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I Voted, Because I Can…
It’s not about who I’m voting for. It’s about the fact I CAN vote. I wrote this on November 2nd, 2021. It was an off cycle election day in the United States, meaning it wasn’t a presidential vote, or anything else major like congressional or senate choices. Some places were voting for mayors, or governors,…
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I Got a Cheese Slicer From Tajikistan
Every once in a while, I get random things delivered to my house that I did not order. Some people might find this annoying, but I find it entertaining. I routinely get mail delivered to my house that is not addressed to me. This type of mail is an understandable mistake because people lived in…
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Where Is Everyone Going?
There are always plenty of people driving on roads and highways, and there are always lots of people out walking around, but where is everybody going? They can’t all be going to work. They can’t all be going to school. They can’t all go to Walmart. They can’t all be at the pool. They can’t…
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How Long Does It Take to Forget?
2021 marks the 20th anniversary of the tragic events of 9/11/01, but many have already forgotten that day. In the days and months that followed the attacks of September 11th, 2001, there was no other topic in the world. Everything was focused on the horrible things that occurred. In the years following, recovery was still…
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Do We Really Need More Friends?
If nothing else good came out of 2020, at least I know who my real friends are. I can’t tell you how many people “unfriended” me in 2020. Whether it was over politics, covid-19, vaccinations, Black Lives Matter, Afghanistan, the Polish economy, or whatever, I seemingly offended people to the point they didn’t want me…
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Covid Finally Hits Home
Everyone has been affected by by Covid-19 in different ways. For me, something tragic happened that was beyond anything I could have ever imagined. We knew Covid-19 would cause sickness. We knew it would cause death. We knew it would cause disruptions and chaos in our world, but for me, the unthinkable happened. My favorite…
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More First World Problems.
If I only had a little bit more money to spend frivolously… I found a television that I want. Or maybe I should say, a television that I NEED. It was on sale for $29,995, marked down from $35,995. It cost that much because it was an 88″ OLED 8K unit.. I would literally need…
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What Happens When You Stop Complaining?
Sometimes you just need to ignore the world… It’s been a very long time since since I last posted an article. Days and weeks and months (and more months) went by since my last writing (Did anyone even notice or care I wasn’t around?). I have no valid reason other than I just didn’t feel…
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The Dumpster Fire Rages On…
I’ve been asked why I haven’t written much lately. The short answer is I’ve been playing ostrich the last few months with my head in a hole wondering why the worst reality show in history got renewed for another season. By reality show, I mean the world we’re living in… I usually feel like my…
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Cats and Pizza Do NOT Go Together
I received an e-mail today from Sarpino’s Pizza with this ad shown. It was promoting international cat day, with a special on pizzas. Maybe my sick and twisted mind misinterpreted this, but whoever wrote this ad obviously didn’t put much thought into it. The simple fact here is whether cat is on the pizza or…
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Really Stupid Research Studies
Some researchers have way too much time on their hands, as shown by some of the studies referenced here. A major TV news outlet recently ran a story reporting findings which showed the number of school shootings are down tremendously in 2020, with the largest drop occurring in April. Umm, could that be because most…
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Give Attention to What Really Matters
On January 26th, 2020, basketball player Kobe Bryant and his 13 year old daughter died in a fiery helicopter crash in California. What the media didn’t tell you was there were seven other people on the same helicopter, yet there was hardly any mention of them… I usually write about fun, silly, or off the…
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Oh, The Things I Think About…
Sometimes random thoughts pop in my head that occupy far too much time and energy… The world and this ridiculous thing called life are funny. Not funny as in humorous, but funny like quirky. I often find myself caught up in this quirkiness pondering things most people probably don’t ponder. Do you think space aliens…
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The Unethical World We Live In…
As you try to get ahead in life, there will always be someone trying to take what you’ve got. You need to pay attention, especially when it comes to your daily finances. Greed rules our world. There will ALWAYS be someone out there who is trying to take advantage of you. In many cases, that…
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You Meet The Nicest People in Truck Stop Bathrooms
Anyone who travels by automobile knows the pleasure of stopping at truck stops. They offer fuel, food, and sometimes even a little late night companionship. I’ll be the first to admit I’m not the most attractive man in the world. I don’t get hit on often, but the romantic glow of the fluorescent light in…
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Another Year Down The Toilet
Rather than my usual year end loathing, I figured I would just wish my readers a Happy New Year. I truly appreciate you taking the time to read my random rants and rampant complaining about how miserable this existence we call life can be. I probably wouldn’t have much to write about if my life…
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Online Dating is Like Used Car Shopping
They might look good in the pictures, but you know there is probably something wrong with them. The malfunction may not be apparent at first, but over time, something is bound to go wrong. You’ve been looking around for a while, trying to find what’s right for you. You know what you want, and what…
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The Time I Ate 30 Year Old Gum
While it sounds like it’d be gross, it was only kind of gross. You’ll really only understand this post if you’re older than 40… A few years back, I was shopping in an antique store. I came across a pile of 1980’s baseball card packs for a pretty cheap price, so I bought them. I’m…
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Manifesting: The Universe Got My Order Wrong
When placing orders with higher powers, be careful. You might end up with something you never expected. Apparently the universe doesn’t work like Amazon. You can’t return or exchange what you’ve received, but sometimes it’s better that way. If you’re not aware, “manifesting” is the ability to use your mind to will your thoughts, dreams…
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I Took a College Writing Class
As a professional writer, I wondered what would happen if I took a basic college writing class. Recently I decided to further some higher education goals. One of the prerequisites for for my degree was a Comp 1 basic writing class. While most people attending college probably wouldn’t care much about this, it made me…
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I Played a Game Called “What’s That Smell”
Unfortunately, I was an unwilling participant in this self imposed game. While it was annoying first, it actually ended up being sort of fun in a sick and twisted way. Back around the year 2000 I auditioned to be a contestant on the TV game show The Weakest Link. I obviously was the weakest link…
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I Ran Over a Squirrel…(Deep Thoughts)
I didn’t mean to. I actually tried to swerve, but I guess it was his fate. I felt horrible, but it brought up some interesting thoughts for me. Sometimes I tend to over think. This was one of those times. A series of life events had to occur in order for the squirrel to have…
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Stop Caring What People Think of Your Writing
It’s important to write for your intended audience, but don’t let your thoughts get in the way of creating what YOU want to create. If you have something inside you that needs to get out, let it out! Sometimes the thought of what other people will think can get in the way of you creating…
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Paper or Plastic? Why You Should Care…
Anyone who has ever shopped in a grocery store has been asked that question, but have you ever really thought about why it matters? I was watching a TV show recently where they were discussing pollution. I’m not a liberal hippie, but it made me very angry. The topic of the show was about how…
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Mourning the Untimely Death of My Flip Phone
Things we used to take for granted now have to be replaced far too often. Phones are no exception, as demonstrated by my old flip phone which finally started to have issues after 12 years of use. Your first thought is probably “why do I still have a flip phone”? I’ve had a couple of…
Words with Pizza - Featuring Marty the Pizza Guy 