Flamethrowers…The Thing You Never Knew You Needed

Sometimes in life you come across an item you didn’t know you needed, but once you have it, you can’t live without it. A flamethrower is definitely one of those things.

I will admit my first thought when acquiring a flamethrower was simply adding another tool to my zombie apocalypse kit, but once I utilized it for it’s intended purpose, my life is so much better now.

I should clarify, this is not a true “flamethrower” in the sense of military equipment. “Flamethrower” sounds very harsh and may invoke fear with the populous, so more appropriately, it’s just called a “torch.”

But it’s a torch that throws flames…

Calling it a “torch” or saying it “throws flames” just doesn’t do it justice. It’s a 340,000-BTU propane fed handheld dragon that spits out intense heat like a jet engine. The unit is a lightweight nozzle that attaches by hose to a standard propane tank. Turn on the gas, hit the igniter, and blast away.

Why would someone need such a device?

The intended purpose is to remove weeds in your yard by burning them away, and it works satisfyingly well. Pulling annoying weeds by hand could take hours. Fire does the job in a matter of minutes. It is an amazing time saver, but you have to be very careful. The downside is it will instantly melt anything in proximity, including shoes and leg hair (not that I would know that from personal experience), but it works so very well on weeds and grass.

The area in the picture was cluttered with pine needles, leaves, grass, and weeds. I cleared out the entire area in less than 10 minutes. It’s also a great tool to conveniently clear snow from sidewalks and driveways. Once you melt away the snow it freezes to a layer of ice, but it sure beats shoveling. Just be sure to have a plan for the ice, especially if you have an angled driveway that you could easily slide down and hurt yourself (once again, not that I know this from personal experience).

Flamethrowers are fun to use, but they are also dangerous. You really do have to be careful not to burn down your neighborhood. In all seriousness, it is entirely possible. These things run very hot and they don’t care what they cook. You could start a fire which might very easily get out of control.

If you ever get one, have a water hose nearby while using it to contain any unwanted fires. Pay attention to burn bans in drought areas, thoroughly assess the area you plan to burn for anything you don’t want to destroy, and know your local laws as they may not be entirely legal everywhere (Luckily for me, they are legal in my area).

Once you try it you’ll wonder how you got along for so long without it. The best part is they are quite inexpensive. You can get a decent one for about $40.00 (US). Some are cheaper, some are more expensive. The difference is how hot they get, the features they have, and how far they can shoot the flame.

I’ve happily used mine many times to destroy pesky weeds, but it’s also good to know I’m ready for the zombies too.

~ Marty ~

Disclaimer: Please use flamethrowers responsibly. They can cause major damage to property and serious injury to people and pets. I’ve yet to try to cook a pizza with one, but it’s seems like it might be a bad idea.

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