Another story about the magic of pizza…
Once upon a time, in a not-so-distant past, a group of aliens known as the Zogglings decided to embark on an intergalactic quest to a little known planet called Earth, where there was rumored to be a fabled delight tastier than anything else in the known universe. This delight, known to us as pizza, was like nothing else in their quadrant of the galaxy. Having heard whispering tales through the interstellar grapevine from other alien races of just how delicious pizza is, a Zoggling exploration group was assembled to find out for themselves. Fueled by curiosity and an insatiable craving for the rumored cheesy goodness, they set their coordinates for Earth.
As they approached Earth, their spacecraft—an odd-looking, wobbly contraption—landed with a thump in the middle of a quiet suburban neighborhood in middle America. Unbeknownst to them, the local residents were in the midst of their annual community barbecue competition, complete with grills flaring and kids running wild.
As the Zogglings clumsily exited their craft, their vibrant purple skin and three tentacle-like appendages caught the attention of the crowd. “Look, everyone! It’s aliens!” shouted Bobby, the neighborhood troublemaker, who was always looking for an excuse to cause a scene. The crowd turned, eyes widening in astonishment as the Zogglings’ antennae bobbed erratically with excitement. “Earthlings! We come in peace!” they announced in unison, but with a voice that sounded suspiciously like a high-pitched kazoo. The gathering crowd didn’t know whether to run for the hills or ask for selfies.
The confused Zogglings stood in awe as the overwhelming aroma of barbecue engulfed them. “This can’t be what we came here for, is it?”, asked one of the Zogglings, as it looked curiously at some ribs being cooked on a grill. “I don’t see any of the gooey cheese we heard so much about”, said another of the visitors as an Earthling munched on some brisket. The Zogglings looked at each in sadness, thinking they had made a tragic error with their journey.
After a brief moment of chaotic confusion, Mario, the town’s overzealous pizza enthusiast, pushed through the crowd, stepping forward after seeing the Zogglings’ dismay with the barbecue. “You’re here for pizza, right? I mean, who isn’t?” he shouted with glee. The Zogglings mood shifted to happiness, realizing maybe they would find what they came for.
“Come with me! I know a great place!”, said Mario. The Zogglings, misunderstanding the enthusiastic Earthing’s eagerness, assumed he was inviting them to a grand pizza ceremony to be welcomed by the leader of Earth. Elated, they followed him along with the crowd down the road to nearby “Tony’s Pizzeria,” a local spot renowned for its innovative toppings—everything from a classic cheese pie to pineapple to pickles.
As they waddled into the restaurant, the Zogglings’ eyes opened wide looking at a man behind the counter, Tony (the owner), who was in the middle of making a pizza. “Are you the leader of Earth?”, asked one of the Zogglings. Tony paused for a moment, as he looked up and squinted at the oddly-shaped guests. He raised an eyebrow and shouted with a New York City accent, “You obviously ain’t from around here! What do you want?”. The aliens were slightly confused and caught off guard by Tony’s blunt demeanor but excitedly exclaimed, “We have traveled across the universe for pizza. We want pizza! Lots of pizza!”
Tony, now thoroughly baffled but slightly amused, decided to roll with the extraterrestrial situation. “Alright, how about a special ‘Out-of-This-World’ pizza?” he proposed. The Zogglings clapped their hands and tentacles in delight, as Tony got to work, twirling dough high in the air, styling a pizza fit for the cosmos. He topped it with an assortment of ingredients, including the most audacious options—space mushrooms (they were just regular mushrooms, but he told them they were space mushrooms), cheddar cheese (because not being from Earth they didn’t know any better), LOTS of “moon mozzarella” (Tony just wanted them to feel at home, so he used space names), a couple of planetary pepperonis, and what appeared to be a delicious red sauce made from mixed spices gathered from the far reaches of Earth.
Just as Tony slid their creation into the oven, the town was abuzz. Bobby announced, “Get your cameras ready! The aliens are going to eat our pizza!” Naturally, everyone wanted a snapshot of the intergalactic visitors tasting Earth’s finest dish. When the pizza was finally ready, the Zogglings dove in, but their tentacles were too clumsy. Cheese and sauce flew everywhere, and as they devoured slice after slice, they began to shimmy and shake, overwhelmed by the cheesy goodness.
The crowd erupted in laughter as the Zogglings performed what could only be described as an intergalactic pizza happy dance. This spontaneous cosmic commotion turned Tony’s pizzeria into an Earthly hub of joy, laughter, and what could only be described as a cheesy mess.
As the sun set and they waddled back to their spaceship—with bellies full and spirits high (along with with a pizza in hand to bring back to the leaders of the planet Zogglar)—the Zogglings vowed to return again, but only if it meant more gooey pizza and maybe even a dance-off.
Because of one Earthly town person’s love of pizza, and a pizzaria owner with a sense of humor, an intergalactic friendship was made and there was unity across the galaxy for generations to come.
Marty
(It’s quite possible this is a true story)
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Words with Pizza - Featuring Marty the Pizza Guy 
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