Political Shenanigans

While I am a strong advocate of democracy, election season is my least favorite time of year primarily due to the over abundance of political ads. But, the bright side to this is the ads are getting more and more entertaining.

Election season is that wonderful time where television commercials and social media feed transform into a circus of non-stop horrific political ads. Unlike like the Super Bowl where we actually look forward to the variety of ads we’ll see, election season breeds the opposite. If these political ads were any more theatrical, they’d need their own Oscar category: Best Performance by a Politician in a Comedic Role.

Rather than watching funny or well-crafted creations which tug at our heart strings, make us laugh, or make us think, we’re subjected to that horrible genre of cringe-worthy political theater that makes us question our faith in humanity. The format is almost always the same: an overly dramatic narrator with a classic announcer voice, paired with ominous music, suggests the end of the world is looming upon us if we don’t vote for Candidate X.

The candidate looks directly into the camera, wide-eyed and earnest, proceeds to tell you how their opponent is responsible for everything from the disappearance of that last pizza slice you had left in the fridge to the missing socks you thought your drier ate. It’s like a bad soap opera, where every character is convinced that their next line could single-handedly tip the scales of your political allegiance. And meanwhile, critical issues such as the rising cost of pizza, climate change, crime, gas prices, and other things that actually matter, are addressed with all the sincerity of a cat meme.

Then we have the barrage of “feel-good” ads, where politicians try so desperately to prove they’re just like you. They’re seen baking cookies with kids or playing fetch with a dog that definitely doesn’t belong to them. You can almost hear the director yelling, “Make sure to smile big and act as if you’re a good, wholesome person.” They wouldn’t lie about being a good, wholesome person, would they?

Regardless of what they’re running for, it’s usually a dizzying mix of desperate charm and fake sincerity that leaves you wondering if these candidates have ever genuinely interacted with actual human beings or if they were all birthed from a political focus group created by an over-caffeinated (or drunk) marketing team.

(Sigh)

The worst part of it all is the last line of every political ad: “This message was approved by…”

Yes, someone actually watched every one of these ads and said, “YES, that ad is AWESOME. I approve.”

By the end of election season, I’m convinced of one thing: the only party that really is truly authentic and 100% for the people is the one I created – the Pizza Party. As November nears, let’s raise a slice to the fact that our media will soon be returned to the regular mind-numbing ads promoting needless commercialism rather than politicians with bad acting skills.

We will surely roll our eyes as we navigate the electoral absurdity, but at least take a moment to stop and enjoy the theatrics of it all. Who knew democracy could be so entertaining?

~ Marty ~

(I approved this message)

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Note: My standing rule of not writing about politics still stands. I will not post anything about any particular candidates, their stances, policies, or my political views, but that doesn’t mean I can’t poke fun at the process.

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