Merica’ 2025

We made it through another year of festivities, food, and explosions.

What’s interesting about this great nation of ours is the wonderful ability to blow stuff up. When the Founding Fathers of our nation wrote, “Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness,” they probably weren’t picturing Carl from the trailer park launching flaming Roman candles out of beer bottles taped to the side of a beat up old pickup truck, driving down the road yelling MERICA, but here we are.

Fireworks were never invented to represent freedom. They were originally created by the ancient Chinese to celebrate the New Year and to scare away evil spirits. Somewhere along the line, fireworks made their way west, and by the time they hit American soil, we’d taken them to a whole new level of insanity.

No longer are they just a pretty light show. Now, fireworks are an annual neighborhood contest to see who can launch the most dangerous, obnoxiously loud, and probably highly illegal fireworks without getting caught. It’s a sport that requires nerves of steel and a complete disregard for our own safety, and the safety of others (For the record, I only almost blew my fingers once this year).

BUT, the positive thing about July 4th is we can feel comforted knowing the evil spirits are held back for a while. Right?

The next morning on July 5th, the country wakes up in a smoky haze. The fireworks are gone, but the remnants of our explosive debauchery lingers in our driveways. Our bank accounts are a little emptier. Our dogs are still hiding in the closet, and the crater in the front yard might be a little deeper than we first thought. But it’s okay because it’s all in the name of freedom. The feeling of “patriotism” lingers for just a bit longer as we clean up the debris like our ancestors did after ancient battles.

Blowing stuff up is our way of connecting with those who blew stuff up to give us the right to blow stuff up. Seems like a good enough reason for me to risk losing a few fingers.

The cool thing is, like many other bad life choices, we know we’ll do it again next year. We’ll try to light up the sky brighter, we’ll try to be even louder, and we’ll laugh at all of our near-misses because that what this day is all about.

Maybe next year we’ll think twice before setting off that giant firework right next to the neighbor’s car. Maybe we’ll hose down the roof of our house before lighting the fireworks, and maybe —just maybe— we won’t hold the explosives as we light them. Then again, maybe we won’t.

As long as we still have all of our fingers on July 5th, it’s all good.

~ Marty ~

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