The Joys of Walmart

“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” – Ferris Bueller

That quote is from the end of the classic 1986 movie, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, starring Mathew Broderick. The quote is very true, especially when shopping at Walmart.

I was shopping in one of my favorite places recently (Walmart) when I overheard a conversation between two employees. One of the employees said to the other, “This place is like a zoo today”, to which the other employee responded, “I used to work at the zoo and the animals were easier to work with than customers.” The other employee came back with the best response saying, “The animals probably smelled better than the customers too.”

While some people might be offended by a comment like this, it just made me giggle. I’m pretty sure they weren’t referring to my personal odor, but maybe they were. Who knows. Regardless, it made me think of something I hadn’t thought about in a long while (No, I’m not talking about showering).

Back in the early days of the internet, one of the first websites I used to look at regularly was a page called People of Walmart. If you’ve never seen it, it’s a collection of viewer submitted photos featuring the variety of interesting characters who frequent good ol’ WallyWorld. Hearing the employees make those comments reminded me that Walmart can be just as entertaining as the circus sometimes, whether it’s the customers, or the employees in this case. I’m not saying it’s okay to make find humor at the expense of others, but sometimes, under the right circumstances, it is okay.

I totally understand and accept that people are unique and live lifestyles different than my own. It’s not cool to make fun of people just because they look different, dress oddly, or behave in ways we don’t understand. We don’t know their stories. Some might be struggling with mental illness, some might just be expressing themselves, and some are probably just really comfy shopping in their SpongeBob pajamas.

BUT, there’s a reason the “People of Walmart” website became an internet classic. It’s not because people are mean (okay, some are), but rather, it’s because there’s something hilarious — and oddly comforting — about how completely unfiltered the Walmart experience can be.

Not to say there isn’t weird occurrences at Target, Costco, and other stores, but Walmart just seems to attract a different type of customer. Only at Walmart can you witness someone riding a scooter rolling through the store with a cardboard sword shouting, “I am the king of aisle 9!” and no one even flinches or thinks twice about it (yes, I saw that once).

The “People of Walmart” photos can be funny, but they can also be mean-spirited if we forget that real human beings are behind the pixels. The internet sometimes blurs the line of what we should laugh at, and what we shouldn’t, but the truth is, it’s okay to laugh. In fact, sometimes we should, especially if we’re there seeing it all unfold live, right in front of us.

Walmart doesn’t just attract characters — it enables them.

Maybe it’s the 24-hour schedule. Maybe it’s the ability to buy new tires along with your Apple Jacks. Maybe it’s just the simple joy of falling prices. Whatever it is, it draws out something primal in people. Like, “You know what? I will go shopping wearing just my underwear with a Batman mask. And I will buy 47 packs of ramen noodles, a hammer, and a glow in the dark unicorn blanket while doing it. Because this is America, and I’m at Walmart.” And, for no other reason than because, you can.

Life is ridiculous. People are strange. Walmart is where it all comes together like a clearance-rack symphony of chaos. It’s totally okay to laugh kindly, not cruelly.

Enjoy those special memories when you see them…

When we laugh at Walmart moments, it’s not about superiority or thinking we’re better than others. It’s about recognition and reflection. We’ve all had those moments where we didn’t quite fit in. Where we forgot how we looked, or didn’t care. Where life knocked us around and all we had left was duct tape, a dream, and an expired frozen pizza coupon.

For old times sake I pulled up The People of Walmart website and found it’s still around. I looked through it, but to my dismay, it wasn’t nearly as funny as it was 20 years ago. Maybe I’ve matured a bit (not likely), or maybe I’ve just grown immune to it after two decades of witnessing it firsthand.

No matter how you look at it, some of the things we experience at the mart are truly entertaining, but don’t forget they’re still people. And, remember that you might be a couple of bad decisions away from doing the same thing.

To close, I leave you with this: If you can’t identify the “People of Walmart” when shopping there, you just might be the person others are looking at. 😄

Enjoy those little things…

~ Marty ~

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