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(aka: WordsWithPizza.com)
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The Real Reason Aliens Visit Earth: Pizza
If your planet isn’t in the pizza delivery zone, what would you do??? In 2001, Pizza Hut became the first restaurant to deliver pizza into space when they sent pizza by rocket to the residents of the International Space Station who were orbiting Earth. If I was the astronaut who opened the hatch when it…
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How Do People Live Without Pizza?
There are many places in the world where pizza is not a meal choice. People in a civilized world shouldn’t have to live like this. I get frustrated because there are no good pizza places in the area around my house, but can you believe there are places in the world where they’ve never seen…
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If I Could Make a Million Dollars…
The fact of the matter is, you CAN make a million dollars, and most Americans DO. The problem is where the money goes. For whatever reason, $1,000,000 is a magic number that we strive for to think we’re “rich”, but in theory, a million dollars isn’t really that much. As such, most working Americans with…
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You Meet The Nicest People in Truck Stop Bathrooms
Anyone who travels by automobile knows the pleasure of stopping at truck stops. They offer fuel, food, and sometimes even a little late night companionship. I’ll be the first to admit I’m not the most attractive man in the world. I don’t get hit on often, but the romantic glow of the fluorescent light in…
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Another Year Down The Toilet
Rather than my usual year end loathing, I figured I would just wish my readers a Happy New Year. I truly appreciate you taking the time to read my random rants and rampant complaining about how miserable this existence we call life can be. I probably wouldn’t have much to write about if my life…
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Online Dating is Like Used Car Shopping
They might look good in the pictures, but you know there is probably something wrong with them. The malfunction may not be apparent at first, but over time, something is bound to go wrong. You’ve been looking around for a while, trying to find what’s right for you. You know what you want, and what…
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There HAS to be intelligent life in the universe…
If humanity is the best the universe has to offer, an asteroid needs to take out the Earth immediately. It’s extremely conceited to think humans are the only “intelligent” species in the universe. The evidence I use to defend my belief in extraterrestrial life is the fact that humanity is far from intelligent. People ask…
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Pizza Related Injuries – A Sad Reality
Pizza is usually the solution to all of life’s problems, but it also can cause a few problems if you’re not careful. Pizza is the most magical of all foods. It satisfies hunger, it improves your mood, and it’s just an all around fun food to make and eat. It pains me to write something…
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The Time I Ate 30 Year Old Gum
While it sounds like it’d be gross, it was only kind of gross. You’ll really only understand this post if you’re older than 40… A few years back, I was shopping in an antique store. I came across a pile of 1980’s baseball card packs for a pretty cheap price, so I bought them. I’m…
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Pulling Facial Hairs With Pliers
Despite the fact that it’s really painful, I do it because I can’t afford laser hair removal. It’s not uncommon for people to pluck a stray hair using tweezers, but for me, I use the pliers on my multi-tool. Why? Because it works! When I say it’s painful, it’s not excruciating pain, but it’s not…
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Another Annoying Pet Peeve – Auto Dealer Branding
Why do customers provide free advertising for auto dealerships long after driving a new vehicle off the lot? When you buy a vehicle from a dealership, they will almost always slap on some subtle (or not so subtle) advertising to promote their business. This advertising is usually either a sticker on the back featuring the…
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Manifesting: The Universe Got My Order Wrong
When placing orders with higher powers, be careful. You might end up with something you never expected. Apparently the universe doesn’t work like Amazon. You can’t return or exchange what you’ve received, but sometimes it’s better that way. If you’re not aware, “manifesting” is the ability to use your mind to will your thoughts, dreams…
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Pet Peeve # 43: People Who Don’t Know How To Merge On The Highway
There was an Aaliyah song back in 1998 called “Are You That Somebody?” I’ve adapted that song to this article. Are YOU that somebody who doesn’t know how to merge when getting on the highway? This post is going to be short and to the point. Please view the photo below as an educational lesson.…
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I Took a College Writing Class
As a professional writer, I wondered what would happen if I took a basic college writing class. Recently I decided to further some higher education goals. One of the prerequisites for for my degree was a Comp 1 basic writing class. While most people attending college probably wouldn’t care much about this, it made me…
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I’m Worried About Santa
I was picking up a pizza when a jolly old man with a fluffy white beard walked in wearing a familiar red and white suit. No, it wasn’t a random homeless person (at least I don’t think so)…It was Santa Claus! As fun as that is, that’s not the story. The story is what he…
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Are Fitness Trackers Dangerous?
It seems like everyone is wearing a fitness watch to track steps and heart rates, but is doing more harm then good? As technology improves, we are becoming increasingly tied to our electronic devices. Fitness trackers are no exception. Wearable trackers communicate with Bluetooth technology. As such, they emit non-ionizing electromagnetic frequencies (EMF) similar to…
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Why Are You Thankful?
We’ve always been taught the “first” Thanksgiving in 1621 was a time of peace, happiness and blessings. Unfortunately, there’s a bit more to the story. When the Pilgrims had their feast with the Native Americans of New England in the fall of 1621, they were celebrating the fact they weren’t going to die in the…
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I Played a Game Called “What’s That Smell”
Unfortunately, I was an unwilling participant in this self imposed game. While it was annoying first, it actually ended up being sort of fun in a sick and twisted way. Back around the year 2000 I auditioned to be a contestant on the TV game show The Weakest Link. I obviously was the weakest link…
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Getting Old Sucks…
All you think about when you’re young is growing up, but when you’re grown up, all you want is to be young again. You can’t wait to turn 18 when you’re a kid. Once you make it to 18, you can’t wait to turn 21. But after that, what else is there to look forward…
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Five Reasons Why a Staycation Is Best
Any time is a fun time for vacations, but everyone else in the world probably feels the same way as you do. Sometimes it’s better if you just stay home. Before you think I’m trying to ruin your vacation fun, take a minute to read my five reasons why it might be better to stay…
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The Sad Part of Being a Pizza Junkie
Pizza is usually the most beneficial thing in the universe, but sometimes pizza can actually let you down. Pizza is my life. There is no question about that. It’s my go-to when I’m happy, or when I’m sad. It’s always there for me to offer a non judgemental slice. But what happens when it doesn’t?…
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I Ran Over a Squirrel…(Deep Thoughts)
I didn’t mean to. I actually tried to swerve, but I guess it was his fate. I felt horrible, but it brought up some interesting thoughts for me. Sometimes I tend to over think. This was one of those times. A series of life events had to occur in order for the squirrel to have…
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Where Are All The Canadians?
Canada is a beautiful country of nearly 38 million people, but where are they? I know where Canada is physically located, but with regard to the internet, specifically my blog, I’ve never seen any Canadian readers on my site. I get the stats of where my readers come from, but I’ve not had one visitor…
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Stupid Things People Do: Pet Peeve #83
Human nature intrigues me. It also annoys me because I tend to notice things other people don’t. Sometimes it’s a good thing, other times not. I’ve been told I’m overly critical of people, but I’m really not. I’m just observant Referring to this week’s pet peeve, it involves shopping. As I push my shopping cart…
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Defining New Life Goals & a Bucket List
I finally figured out what I want to be when I grow up. I also decided it’s time to start a “bucket list”. The two coincide but neither will probably ever happen. I’ve reached a point in my life where I don’t really care about material “stuff” anymore. I want experiences. I want to travel…
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I Tried To Stop Using Plastic. It was an Epic Failure.
I wrote an article a while back about how plastic is going to be the demise of humanity. I knew my little contribution wasn’t going to save the world, but I had to give it a shot. I wanted to at least try to reduce my dependence on plastic. I failed miserably. I started with…
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I Need a Sign to Ban Election Signs!
Election season is almost upon us. This means all the “vote for me” signs are popping up like weeds in yards of homes and on street corners. To be blunt, I don’t care who you plan to vote for… There are two things in life everyone should keep to themselves: Politics and religion. Yes, I…
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Show Us the Non Blurry Paranormal Proof…
In a time where everyone carries high definition digital cameras on them, why is it we only see blurry photos of ghosts, UFO’s, and Bigfoot? “Proof” pictures are almost always out of focus, out of frame, distorted or show some other abnormality which hinders clear observation of whatever it is someone is trying to prove.…
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Stop Caring What People Think of Your Writing
It’s important to write for your intended audience, but don’t let your thoughts get in the way of creating what YOU want to create. If you have something inside you that needs to get out, let it out! Sometimes the thought of what other people will think can get in the way of you creating…
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“Finding” Things in the Universe
It’s sort of like how Columbus “found” the Native Americans…Were any of these “discoveries” ever really missing? Finding a cure for cancer would be life changing. Finding a way to stop our air and water from being polluted would be amazing. Finding a “new” star or planet that’s been floating around in space for millions…
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Paper or Plastic? Why You Should Care…
Anyone who has ever shopped in a grocery store has been asked that question, but have you ever really thought about why it matters? I was watching a TV show recently where they were discussing pollution. I’m not a liberal hippie, but it made me very angry. The topic of the show was about how…
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Mourning the Untimely Death of My Flip Phone
Things we used to take for granted now have to be replaced far too often. Phones are no exception, as demonstrated by my old flip phone which finally started to have issues after 12 years of use. Your first thought is probably “why do I still have a flip phone”? I’ve had a couple of…
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Pictures of the Moon
Even though it’s been flying over our heads for millions of years, our moon’s beauty is often missed. We often take for granted that another world is looming over us. Yes, it’s desolate, crater filled landscape and not the most scenic place in the universe, but our naked eyes can be deceiving. No matter how…
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How Being Debt Free Hurts Your Credit
Most people think being debt free is good thing, but in reality it can actually hurt your credit score. Here are a few things I learned the hard way. It’s no secret credit card companies want your money. They make their money from you spending your money. Like most people, I had credit card debt.…
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Random Things to Ponder…
Life can be silly. Sometimes it’s better not to ask questions, but maybe you have the answer to these random thoughts which cross my mind… In the word SCENT, which letter is silent? The S or the C ? If you replace the W with T in WHAT and WHERE and WHEN, you get the…
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My Friends & Family Don’t Follow Me
Promoting yourself on social media is like selling Amway products or some multi-level marketing scheme. No one wants to hear about it. One of the best practices to promote yourself as a writer, artist or entertainer is to share your work with family and friends on social media, but how many of them actually look…
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Mail Order Ice Cream: It’s a Real Thing
The internet is great for finding amazing shopping deals, but who knew you could buy ice cream online. Yes, ice cream. I’m not talking about Grubhub or an Uber Eats type online business. Nor am I referring to home grocery delivery delivery from your local store. I’m talking about real, cold, icey, creamy delicious, yummy…
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How To Make People REALLY Mad on Facebook
Have you ever posted something online and gotten outrageous responses which made you upset, or read comments so stupid they made you laugh? I found a fun new way to make these annoying comment posters look stupid using their own words… I’m not a troll, but as a writer I do like to provoke reaction.…
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Stupid Criminals & Creative Excuses
On July 31st, 2019, A female was arrested for theft in West Monroe, Louisiana. $6,233 and a clear plastic baggy containing meth were found hidden up in her private parts after being searched by jail staff. She allegedly claimed she didn’t know where it came from. Anyone who has ever watched the TV show “COPS”…
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Who Needs Talent…
Have you seen the memes about things that require zero talent? I decided to post my top ten favorites, as they’re applicable to pretty much anything we do in life. The things on this list aren’t groundbreaking words of wisdom, but they’re things that many people aren’t willing to do. You have to give a…
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Bring Back Achy Breaky Heart!
In 1992, the song “Achy Breaky Heart” by Billy Ray Cyrus, was all over the radio. It reached #1 on the music charts in multiple countries before suddenly becoming one of the worst, most hated songs of all time. How does a popular song everyone loves because something no one ever wants to hear again?…
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