Tag: humor
-
Good Bye 2025
In what seems like the blink of an eye, another year is gone. We’ve survived yet another trip around the sun. While it’s still 365 days, the rotation seems to spin faster and faster every year. My resolution this year was not to make any resolutions, and I held to that. You can’t fail if…
-
A Slice of Christmas Magic (With Extra Cheese)
Every Christmas has its miracle stories. Like the ones where nobody brings up politics during the family gathering. Or, the one where the house doesn’t catch fire because of how you wired the lights like in the movie Christmas Vacation. And then there’s the one about how pizza can show up right when needed most.…
-
Holiday Shopping: Tis the Season For Chaos
Behold: the holidays, when ordinary humans become unhinged treasure hunters of truly mediocre items. Every December, humanity collectively forgets that the items we are wrestling strangers for—fuzzy socks, boxed chocolates, personal hygiene box sets, and oddly scented candles, are typically available every single day of the year. Suddenly, a mug that says “Warm Wishes” becomes…
-
The Probably True Story of Thanksgiving
Despite other stories you may have heard about the origins of this holiday, I think this may be what actually happened. The Pilgrims had a plan. A simple one, really: sail straight, land somewhere promising, start a new life. Unfortunately, “sail straight” turned out to be a lot harder than anyone expected, especially when half…
-
Some Funny Memes…
I often feel old, but when I see memes like these I definitely feel like a dinosaur! Unfortunately, these references about Generation X are quite true. This image truly reflects the comment, “If You Know, You Know.” The rules were simple. Destroy the other players. Especially the ones that wore glasses or had something weird…
-
A Monkey, A Horse, and Pineapple Pizza
What the monkey considers business, the horse considers play… If there’s one topic that divides humanity more than politics or whether to fold your slice or eat with a fork, it’s pineapple on pizza. To some people, pizza is sacred — a serious, sauce-and-cheese-only ritual based on tried and true tradition that must be protected…
-
Halloween: How Soon Is Too Soon?
It’s not uncommon for Christmas lights to be up in November, but when is it okay to put up the Halloween decorations? In my neighborhood, we had people starting to put up Halloween decorations in the last week of August. I’m not talking about a pumpkin or a scarecrow. I’m referring to full on inflatables,…
-
Motivational Thoughts
Take these statements to heart – They just might make your day better! Follow Me For More Great Wisdom Like This!
-
The Joys of Walmart
“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” – Ferris Bueller That quote is from the end of the classic 1986 movie, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, starring Mathew Broderick. The quote is very true, especially when shopping at Walmart. I was shopping in one…
-
Merica’ 2025
We made it through another year of festivities, food, and explosions. What’s interesting about this great nation of ours is the wonderful ability to blow stuff up. When the Founding Fathers of our nation wrote, “Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness,” they probably weren’t picturing Carl from the trailer park launching flaming Roman candles…
-
What Pizza Toppings Say About Your Personality
What you put on your pizza has a direct connection to your personality… Preface: This post is based on highly relevant, peer reviewed, deeply researched psychological data. By highly relevant I mean I think it’s important. Peer reviewed means by the three of us (Me, Myself, and I). Deeply researched means I listen to the…
-
Pizza: An Indicator of War?
Once again, pizza proves it has amazing abilities beyond what we see (and taste)! As it turns out, the threat of global conflict may be hiding in plain sight—right between our garlic knots and extra-large meat lovers pizza. That’s right, the internet’s buzzing again about something known as the Pentagon Pizza Index, a semi-satirical, yet…
-
Too Many Projects, Not Enough Time
Big things are afoot here in Martyland! I’m in the midst of exciting changes. Not just my socks and underwear (I’m overdue for both), but the entire world of my multi-media empire. What an amazing time we’re living in! Just like President Trump did with Elon Musk and DOGE, I had to do a top…
-
The Quest for the Legendary Pizza
This story is not just about discovering the perfect topping; it’s about uncovering the ingredients of adventure, friendship, and life itself. In the magical kingdom of Flavoria, where the skies shimmered with the colors of spices and rivers flowed with creamy sauces, there existed a legendary pizza known as the “Crown of Cheeses.” This mystical…
-
Thanksgiving Pie
Everyone loves a pie on Thanksgiving, but over the years this has been greatly misunderstood. Pumpkin Pie or Apple Pie might be good for some, but what they meant to say was you’re supposed to eat a PIZZA pie. The day is about giving thanks, and we should all be thankful for pizza (I know…
-
Halloween Pizza Magic
Once upon a time in a small town not far from the city, Halloween night arrived with more than just ghosts and goblins roaming the streets. The local pizzeria was having a Halloween pizza party that was in full swing, but unbeknownst to the restaurant owner, one of his employees was a witch! The unknown…
-
Not Happy With The New Wheel of Fortune
Change is inevitable, and sometimes change is good, but change can be difficult to accept after 41 seasons (8,000 episodes) of a classic TV game show. Television producers have a bad habit of making change when it’s not needed. Examples of this include The Flintstones adding The Great Gazoo, Scooby Doo adding Scrappy, and Cousin…
-
More Pizza Stories
Once upon a time in a sleepy little city not far away, there lived a ninja named Hiroshi, who was known for his incredible stealth and agility. One evening, drawn by the irresistible aroma wafting through the streets, Hiroshi found himself outside the town’s newest pizza joint, “Slice.” He could practically taste the gooey mozzarella…
-
You Need a Good Laugh
Here are a few random funnies to get you through your day… Q. Why did the scarecrow win an award? A. Because he was outstanding in his field! Q. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? A. They don’t have the guts! Q. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? A. He just needed a little…
-
What’s Wrong With Domino’s and Pizza Hut?
Whenever I make any commentary about pizza, someone will always jump in with, “Pizza Hut (or) Domino’s is my favorite pizza. There’s nothing wrong with them.” I feel compelled to state my case… If you are looking for a large quantity of pizza for something like a kid’s party, school event, or work meetings, Domino’s…
-
Some “Cheesy” Humor
We all need a little laugh now and then, so here are a few “cheesy” pizza jokes that will hopefully make you smile. Q. Why did the pizza maker go broke? A. Because he wasn’t making enough dough. Q. What do you call it when a tired dad makes pizza? Papa Yawns Pizza Q. How…
-
Political Shenanigans
While I am a strong advocate of democracy, election season is my least favorite time of year primarily due to the over abundance of political ads. But, the bright side to this is the ads are getting more and more entertaining. Election season is that wonderful time where television commercials and social media feed transform…
-
The Psychological Effects of Pizza and Implications on Well-Being
I was cleaning out some files on my computer when I cam across some forgotten papers that I wrote while working on one of my college degrees. I felt it would be appropriate to post, seeing as how it is timely and relevant to all of my other fine works of culinary writing (aka: pizza…
-
How Pizza Saved a Nation
Pizza does so much more than satisfy hunger. It brings people together. In the not so distant past, in a small, vibrant nation we’ll call Pizzoria, a tremendous crisis had gripped the country. Political division and economic downturn had driven its citizens to the brink of despair. Discontent simmered on every street corner, and the…
-
A Fun Fairy Tale
Rather than a pizza story, I thought I’d mix it up with a classic fairy tale rhyme: In a land where the dough trees sway,And the cheese clouds dance in the sun’s bright ray,Lived a jolly old chef with a twinkle in his eye,Who dreamed of a pizza that could soar in the sky. With…
-
A Cheesy Intergalactic Journey (Pizza Stories #2)
Another story about the magic of pizza… Once upon a time, in a not-so-distant past, a group of aliens known as the Zogglings decided to embark on an intergalactic quest to a little known planet called Earth, where there was rumored to be a fabled delight tastier than anything else in the known universe. This…
-
A Slice of Medieval Madness (Pizza Stories #1)
A story inspired by the greatness of pizza… Once upon a time in the quaint and quirky kingdom of Cheezonia, where the rivers flowed with molten mozzarella cheese and the trees grew pepperoni instead of fruit, the people were obsessed with one dish above all else: pizza. This delectable creation had sparked a peculiar yet…
-
Pizza: The Last Affordable Food
With the cost of living going crazy since 2020, far too many things in our world have dramatically increased in price. Despite the rising costs of everything involved with making a pizza, the cost of a picking up pie from a pizzeria has not really risen much compared to other foods over the years. Why…
-
Things I Didn’t Know I Needed (Part 2)
Life is so much better when you find something you don’t how you lived without… A while back I wrote a post about finding something that was the best thing ever – a flamethrower.(Flamethrowers…The Thing You Never Knew You Needed) Since I wrote that, I’ve had a few more more opportunities to experience that same feeling…
-
Another Use For My Flamethrower…
Yellow jackets are mean, nasty, and have no place on this planet. My flamethrower helped make the planet, or at least my backyard, a little safer. I was walking through my some tall grass in my backyard on a fine summer day. As I took a step, I felt an intense pain in my right…
-
Senseless Babble & Random Rants
It’s been a while since I’ve vented, so here we go with a few things: #1: I don’t like Whataburger. Our Super Bowl champion quarterback Patrick Mahomes loves Whatburger. It’s his favorite restaurant. When he came to Kansas City, the restaurant had no stores here. He wanted it, so he bought into the franchise and…
-
Mom Knows Best
Our mothers do many things for us, but all too often we don’t realize it until it’s too late… I was in a grocery store check out line recently when the cashier asked me if I’d like my milk in a bag. I said “no, I like it in the bottle. It’s too hard to…
-
Don’t Invite Pizza Eating Rats Into Your House
When a pizza restaurant has a rat as a mascot, you should probably be concerned. When they want to send the rat to your house with a pizza, you should probably be more concerned. The national franchise featuring the rat is Chuck E. Cheese, a place popular with little kids who have not yet developed…
-
A Sure Way To Win The Lottery
There is absolute fool proof way to win every time, if you’re up for it. Who hasn’t dreamed of becoming mega rich? In January of 2023, the Mega Millions lottery jackpot in the United States rose up to 1.35 BILLION dollars. Make note of that number… 1.35 BILLION What could I have done with 1.35…
-
Happy New Year!
Here’s to another successful circumnavigation of the sun! I normally post a pessimistic article on January 1st each year about how nothing really changes as the new year begins, but not this year! I’m going to start the year out on a positive note. This year, I want to point out that something DID change……
-
They Don’t Make Clothes Like They Used To…
In another case of random oddity, I pose the question of, “What’s in your closet?“ As I was looking for something to change into recently, I chose an old pair of comfy sweat pants. I realized I got these particular pants in 1994, and they are just as comfortable as when I first wore them.…
-
I Found My True Calling In Life
I’ve decided I want to be a professional Duck Duck Goose player… Let’s face it, there are lots of really stupid sports in the world. In many of these “sports”, the participants call themselves “athletes”, even there is little or no athleticism involved. You can now earn a college scholarship for being an “e-athlete”, playing…
-
A Sad Holiday Pizza Story
What would you put up with to get a free pizza? I had a coupon for a national pizza chain that I don’t usually eat at. I generally avoid the national chains because the pizza is not that good, but the coupon I had was for a free pizza. While the pizza may not be…
-
The Life of a Writer – Part 1
This is the first of a series of posts about what inspires people like me to write the nonsense you see here… When people find out I’m a writer, I often get lots of questions. Sometimes people ask me how they can get into blogging. Sometimes I get questions about how someone can become a…
-
Spider-Man Was A Lie
What happens in the movies is quite different from what happens in reality, especially when it comes to getting bit by a dangerous spider. In the continuing saga of never ending shenanigans I call my life, I had the honor of getting bit by a spider. While this does not seem like something to be…
Words with Pizza - Featuring Marty the Pizza Guy 