Tag: humor
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Can Super Bowl Half Time Shows Get Any Worse? Apparently, Yes!
With a worldwide audience of nearly a hundred million viewers, you’d think the show producers would want to create the best performance ever. That no longer seems to be the case. I’m specifically referring to the performance of pop music singers Shakira and Jennifer Lopez during the Super Bowl LIV Half Time Show, held on…
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Oh, The Things I Think About…
Sometimes random thoughts pop in my head that occupy far too much time and energy… The world and this ridiculous thing called life are funny. Not funny as in humorous, but funny like quirky. I often find myself caught up in this quirkiness pondering things most people probably don’t ponder. Do you think space aliens…
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Interesting Comments From The Past
It’s easy to take our modern life for granted, but there was once a time, not too long ago, when things in our world appeared to be very different. There were some memes getting posted recently on social media titled, Comments Made in 1957. I did some research and found many of the comments are…
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How Do People Live Without Pizza?
There are many places in the world where pizza is not a meal choice. People in a civilized world shouldn’t have to live like this. I get frustrated because there are no good pizza places in the area around my house, but can you believe there are places in the world where they’ve never seen…
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If I Could Make a Million Dollars…
The fact of the matter is, you CAN make a million dollars, and most Americans DO. The problem is where the money goes. For whatever reason, $1,000,000 is a magic number that we strive for to think we’re “rich”, but in theory, a million dollars isn’t really that much. As such, most working Americans with…
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You Meet The Nicest People in Truck Stop Bathrooms
Anyone who travels by automobile knows the pleasure of stopping at truck stops. They offer fuel, food, and sometimes even a little late night companionship. I’ll be the first to admit I’m not the most attractive man in the world. I don’t get hit on often, but the romantic glow of the fluorescent light in…
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Online Dating is Like Used Car Shopping
They might look good in the pictures, but you know there is probably something wrong with them. The malfunction may not be apparent at first, but over time, something is bound to go wrong. You’ve been looking around for a while, trying to find what’s right for you. You know what you want, and what…
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There HAS to be intelligent life in the universe…
If humanity is the best the universe has to offer, an asteroid needs to take out the Earth immediately. It’s extremely conceited to think humans are the only “intelligent” species in the universe. The evidence I use to defend my belief in extraterrestrial life is the fact that humanity is far from intelligent. People ask…
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Pizza Related Injuries – A Sad Reality
Pizza is usually the solution to all of life’s problems, but it also can cause a few problems if you’re not careful. Pizza is the most magical of all foods. It satisfies hunger, it improves your mood, and it’s just an all around fun food to make and eat. It pains me to write something…
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The Time I Ate 30 Year Old Gum
While it sounds like it’d be gross, it was only kind of gross. You’ll really only understand this post if you’re older than 40… A few years back, I was shopping in an antique store. I came across a pile of 1980’s baseball card packs for a pretty cheap price, so I bought them. I’m…
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Pulling Facial Hairs With Pliers
Despite the fact that it’s really painful, I do it because I can’t afford laser hair removal. It’s not uncommon for people to pluck a stray hair using tweezers, but for me, I use the pliers on my multi-tool. Why? Because it works! When I say it’s painful, it’s not excruciating pain, but it’s not…
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Another Annoying Pet Peeve – Auto Dealer Branding
Why do customers provide free advertising for auto dealerships long after driving a new vehicle off the lot? When you buy a vehicle from a dealership, they will almost always slap on some subtle (or not so subtle) advertising to promote their business. This advertising is usually either a sticker on the back featuring the…
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Pet Peeve # 43: People Who Don’t Know How To Merge On The Highway
There was an Aaliyah song back in 1998 called “Are You That Somebody?” I’ve adapted that song to this article. Are YOU that somebody who doesn’t know how to merge when getting on the highway? This post is going to be short and to the point. Please view the photo below as an educational lesson.…
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I Took a College Writing Class
As a professional writer, I wondered what would happen if I took a basic college writing class. Recently I decided to further some higher education goals. One of the prerequisites for for my degree was a Comp 1 basic writing class. While most people attending college probably wouldn’t care much about this, it made me…
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I’m Worried About Santa
I was picking up a pizza when a jolly old man with a fluffy white beard walked in wearing a familiar red and white suit. No, it wasn’t a random homeless person (at least I don’t think so)…It was Santa Claus! As fun as that is, that’s not the story. The story is what he…
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Why Are You Thankful?
We’ve always been taught the “first” Thanksgiving in 1621 was a time of peace, happiness and blessings. Unfortunately, there’s a bit more to the story. When the Pilgrims had their feast with the Native Americans of New England in the fall of 1621, they were celebrating the fact they weren’t going to die in the…
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I Played a Game Called “What’s That Smell”
Unfortunately, I was an unwilling participant in this self imposed game. While it was annoying first, it actually ended up being sort of fun in a sick and twisted way. Back around the year 2000 I auditioned to be a contestant on the TV game show The Weakest Link. I obviously was the weakest link…
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Getting Old Sucks…
All you think about when you’re young is growing up, but when you’re grown up, all you want is to be young again. You can’t wait to turn 18 when you’re a kid. Once you make it to 18, you can’t wait to turn 21. But after that, what else is there to look forward…
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Five Reasons Why a Staycation Is Best
Any time is a fun time for vacations, but everyone else in the world probably feels the same way as you do. Sometimes it’s better if you just stay home. Before you think I’m trying to ruin your vacation fun, take a minute to read my five reasons why it might be better to stay…
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The Sad Part of Being a Pizza Junkie
Pizza is usually the most beneficial thing in the universe, but sometimes pizza can actually let you down. Pizza is my life. There is no question about that. It’s my go-to when I’m happy, or when I’m sad. It’s always there for me to offer a non judgemental slice. But what happens when it doesn’t?…
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Where Are All The Canadians?
Canada is a beautiful country of nearly 38 million people, but where are they? I know where Canada is physically located, but with regard to the internet, specifically my blog, I’ve never seen any Canadian readers on my site. I get the stats of where my readers come from, but I’ve not had one visitor…
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Stupid Things People Do: Pet Peeve #83
Human nature intrigues me. It also annoys me because I tend to notice things other people don’t. Sometimes it’s a good thing, other times not. I’ve been told I’m overly critical of people, but I’m really not. I’m just observant Referring to this week’s pet peeve, it involves shopping. As I push my shopping cart…
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I Need a Sign to Ban Election Signs!
Election season is almost upon us. This means all the “vote for me” signs are popping up like weeds in yards of homes and on street corners. To be blunt, I don’t care who you plan to vote for… There are two things in life everyone should keep to themselves: Politics and religion. Yes, I…
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Show Us the Non Blurry Paranormal Proof…
In a time where everyone carries high definition digital cameras on them, why is it we only see blurry photos of ghosts, UFO’s, and Bigfoot? “Proof” pictures are almost always out of focus, out of frame, distorted or show some other abnormality which hinders clear observation of whatever it is someone is trying to prove.…
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Mourning the Untimely Death of My Flip Phone
Things we used to take for granted now have to be replaced far too often. Phones are no exception, as demonstrated by my old flip phone which finally started to have issues after 12 years of use. Your first thought is probably “why do I still have a flip phone”? I’ve had a couple of…
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Random Things to Ponder…
Life can be silly. Sometimes it’s better not to ask questions, but maybe you have the answer to these random thoughts which cross my mind… In the word SCENT, which letter is silent? The S or the C ? If you replace the W with T in WHAT and WHERE and WHEN, you get the…
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Mail Order Ice Cream: It’s a Real Thing
The internet is great for finding amazing shopping deals, but who knew you could buy ice cream online. Yes, ice cream. I’m not talking about Grubhub or an Uber Eats type online business. Nor am I referring to home grocery delivery delivery from your local store. I’m talking about real, cold, icey, creamy delicious, yummy…
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How To Make People REALLY Mad on Facebook
Have you ever posted something online and gotten outrageous responses which made you upset, or read comments so stupid they made you laugh? I found a fun new way to make these annoying comment posters look stupid using their own words… I’m not a troll, but as a writer I do like to provoke reaction.…
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Stupid Criminals & Creative Excuses
On July 31st, 2019, A female was arrested for theft in West Monroe, Louisiana. $6,233 and a clear plastic baggy containing meth were found hidden up in her private parts after being searched by jail staff. She allegedly claimed she didn’t know where it came from. Anyone who has ever watched the TV show “COPS”…
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Bring Back Achy Breaky Heart!
In 1992, the song “Achy Breaky Heart” by Billy Ray Cyrus, was all over the radio. It reached #1 on the music charts in multiple countries before suddenly becoming one of the worst, most hated songs of all time. How does a popular song everyone loves because something no one ever wants to hear again?…
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Dog Truths
For many humans, dogs are more than just pets, they’re family. There are some very important things dogs need you to understand when visiting a home where they rule the roost… Here are the top 5 things dogs wish they could say to house guests. If you don’t like dog hair, stay off the couch. To…
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Eating Smart: What They Really Meant
If you’re on a diet, you can still eat pizza… Just eat 3 slices instead of 6! (Look at the Picture) Follow my blog for more great dieting tips like this and other amazing posts you didn’t know you needed in your life!
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Pizza and Bad Math: A Losing Combo
When it comes to pizza, knowing the basics of math is critical to a happy life! We sometimes make irrational decisions when we’re hungry… I was in Costco, a store well known for saving money. In theory, saving money is the main reason people shop there. They also have a food court in the store…
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When I go on Wheel of Fortune…
Game shows like “Who Wants to be a Millionaire” kick you off the show for getting an answer wrong, but on Wheel of Fortune, I’ll at least have a chance with my well thought out guesses… It’s going to be so much fun when I go on Wheel of Fortune, but I can’t help but…
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Is There Ever A Bad Time For Pizza?
The answer is absolutely not! Any time is a good time for pizza. Is there a point to this post? Nope. It’s just a friendly reminder of the happiness pizza can bring. This has been a public service announcement brought you by Marty. Follow my blog for more great wisdom.
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Have You Ever Met a Famous Blogger?
The world of writing is much different from other forms of art or entertainment. You may have lots of followers, but are you really “known” for your work? If you ran into me in a grocery store, would you know who I was? For that matter, would you recognize ANY of your favorite writers? Whatever…
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Getting Married? Choose the BEST First Dance Song
The symbolic first dance at a wedding reception sets the musical tone for your new life together, but before you tell the DJ to play that special song, make sure it’s the right one. Perhaps the chorus of your favorite song has some words which resonate with your mushy feelings. Maybe “your” song was the…
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If Dogs Could Talk…
If your dog could speak human words, what would they say? Here’s an interpretation of how a conversation might go with your dog. This post is adapted from a funny meme I saw recently: Dog: What Doing? Me: Nothing. I just stood up. Dog: Where Go? Me: I’m going to get a drink. Dog: Can…
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An Open Letter to Publisher’s Clearing House…
This is an open letter to anyone at Publisher’s Clearing House regarding why I’ve not yet received any of my promised prize money. Do you know how many times I’ve sat at my window, watching for the prize patrol van to pull up at my house? One time I thought it was you, but it…
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I’m a Social Outcast Because I Don’t Drink Coffee
Coffee has become such a staple of “normal” life, it’s almost like insulting someone’s mother to say you don’t drink it. But being that I’m far from “normal”, I’m okay with being an outcast. It happens all the time. At Work: “Oh my God, I need some coffee, come on, let’s go get some” Meeting…
Words with Pizza - Featuring Marty the Pizza Guy 