Author: Marty The Pizza Guy…
-
Merica’ 2025
We made it through another year of festivities, food, and explosions. What’s interesting about this great nation of ours is the wonderful ability to blow stuff up. When the Founding Fathers of our nation wrote, “Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness,” they probably weren’t picturing Carl from the trailer park launching flaming Roman candles…
-
A.I. Is My New Buddy
Who needs people when I have perfect algorithmic validation? I’m that person who is skeptical of new technology. I usually hold out as long as I can because I think something may just be a passing fad. Or, more often than not, I just don’t care to jump on the bandwagon with whatever the latest…
-
What Pizza Toppings Say About Your Personality
What you put on your pizza has a direct connection to your personality… Preface: This post is based on highly relevant, peer reviewed, deeply researched psychological data. By highly relevant I mean I think it’s important. Peer reviewed means by the three of us (Me, Myself, and I). Deeply researched means I listen to the…
-
Pizza: An Indicator of War?
Once again, pizza proves it has amazing abilities beyond what we see (and taste)! The threat of global conflict may be hiding in plain sight – right between garlic knots and an extra-large meat lovers pizza. That’s right, the internet’s buzzing again about something known as the Pentagon Pizza Index, a semi-satirical, yet oddly accurate,…
-
What’s New – Part 2
In my last post I mentioned my new books, but that’s not all I’ve been putting together! If anyone has read my blog for a long time, you’ll know music is something that is very high on my list of priorities in life. I was a professional DJ for many years, so music has been…
-
Did Anybody Miss Me?
I’ve returned from the writing abyss, but I brought back some cool souvenirs! I wasn’t completely gone from the writing abyss; I was really more in a different abyss, because I was writing. It just wasn’t here. For the curious, and hungry, I have released four new books. Yes, 4. Can you guess what the…
-
Too Many Projects, Not Enough Time
Big things are afoot here in Martyland! I’m in the midst of exciting changes. Not just my socks and underwear (I’m overdue for both), but the entire world of my multi-media empire. What an amazing time we’re living in! Just like President Trump did with Elon Musk and DOGE, I had to do a top…
-
Happy New Year!
I hope 2025 is the best year ever for you! Wishing you all the very best!
-
All I Want For Christmas is Pizza
Sung to the tune of Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas is You…” But really, all I want for Christmas is an extra cheese pizza. Dear Santa, I hope this letter finds you well. How’s Mrs. Claus? I hope she is well too. But enough about your jolly life; let’s get to the real…
-
The Quest for the Legendary Pizza
This story is not just about discovering the perfect topping; it’s about uncovering the ingredients of adventure, friendship, and life itself. In the magical kingdom of Flavoria, where the skies shimmered with the colors of spices and rivers flowed with creamy sauces, there existed a legendary pizza known as the “Crown of Cheeses.” This mystical…
-
Thanksgiving Pie
Everyone loves a pie on Thanksgiving, but over the years this has been greatly misunderstood. Pumpkin Pie or Apple Pie might be good for some, but what they meant to say was you’re supposed to eat a PIZZA pie. The day is about giving thanks, and we should all be thankful for pizza (I know…
-
Pizza Travels – The Other Manhattan (Kansas)
Everyone knows about the Manhattan in New York City, but did you know there is also a Manhattan in Kansas? There may be two Manhattans out there, but they are very different. One is known as being the pizza capital of the world, the other is home to Kansas State University. So similar, yet so…
-
The Right Mood To Write…
As I write this, it’s November 25th and I have not posted one thing for the entire month up to this point. I used to use lame excuses saying I was too busy or whatever, but in the case of November, I just haven’t been in the mood to write. If I’m not in the…
-
Halloween Pizza Magic
Once upon a time in a small town not far from the city, Halloween night arrived with more than just ghosts and goblins roaming the streets. The local pizzeria was having a Halloween pizza party that was in full swing, but unbeknownst to the restaurant owner, one of his employees was a witch! The unknown…
-
Not Happy With The New Wheel of Fortune
Change is inevitable, and sometimes change is good, but change can be difficult to accept after 41 seasons (8,000 episodes) of a classic TV game show. Television producers have a bad habit of making change when it’s not needed. Examples of this include The Flintstones adding The Great Gazoo, Scooby Doo adding Scrappy, and Cousin…
-
More Pizza Stories
Once upon a time in a sleepy little city not far away, there lived a ninja named Hiroshi, who was known for his incredible stealth and agility. One evening, drawn by the irresistible aroma wafting through the streets, Hiroshi found himself outside the town’s newest pizza joint, “Slice.” He could practically taste the gooey mozzarella…
-
A Slice of Pizza History
Pizza! Our nearest and dearest friend with an impressive resumé that spans centuries. We all eat it, but no one ever really puts any thought into how it all came to be. The origins of pizza can be traced back thousands of years to ancient civilizations. Way, WAY back, as in Neolithic times. People of…
-
Knock Knock…Open Up!
I know there are plenty of random readers who see my posts, but I’ve come to realize most of my e-mail subscribers never see the stories I work so hard on because the notifications probably end up in spam folders, or in the trash. In the world of blogging, writers are often brag about how…
-
You Need a Good Laugh
Here are a few random funnies to get you through your day… Q. Why did the scarecrow win an award? A. Because he was outstanding in his field! Q. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? A. They don’t have the guts! Q. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? A. He just needed a little…
-
What’s Wrong With Domino’s and Pizza Hut?
Whenever I make any commentary about pizza, someone will always jump in with, “Pizza Hut (or) Domino’s is my favorite pizza. There’s nothing wrong with them.” I feel compelled to state my case… If you are looking for a large quantity of pizza for something like a kid’s party, school event, or work meetings, Domino’s…
-
Pizza Travels: Omaha, Nebraska
When I travel, I often ask hotel staff where the best pizza in town is. If someone first names off Domino’s or Pizza Hut as a top choice, I know I’m in for a horrible stay. In contrast, if someone names a local family run place, it sparks my curiosity. When the recommendation is followed…
-
Some “Cheesy” Humor
We all need a little laugh now and then, so here are a few “cheesy” pizza jokes that will hopefully make you smile. Q. Why did the pizza maker go broke? A. Because he wasn’t making enough dough. Q. What do you call it when a tired dad makes pizza? Papa Yawns Pizza Q. How…
-
Political Shenanigans
While I am a strong advocate of democracy, election season is my least favorite time of year primarily due to the over abundance of political ads. But, the bright side to this is the ads are getting more and more entertaining. Election season is that wonderful time where television commercials and social media feed transform…
-
The Psychological Effects of Pizza and Implications on Well-Being
I was cleaning out some files on my computer when I cam across some forgotten papers that I wrote while working on one of my college degrees. I felt it would be appropriate to post, seeing as how it is timely and relevant to all of my other fine works of culinary writing (aka: pizza…
-
How Pizza Saved a Nation
Pizza does so much more than satisfy hunger. It brings people together. In the not so distant past, in a small, vibrant nation we’ll call Pizzoria, a tremendous crisis had gripped the country. Political division and economic downturn had driven its citizens to the brink of despair. Discontent simmered on every street corner, and the…
-
A Fun Fairy Tale
Rather than a pizza story, I thought I’d mix it up with a classic fairy tale rhyme: In a land where the dough trees sway,And the cheese clouds dance in the sun’s bright ray,Lived a jolly old chef with a twinkle in his eye,Who dreamed of a pizza that could soar in the sky. With…
-
A Cheesy Intergalactic Journey (Pizza Stories #2)
Another story about the magic of pizza… Once upon a time, in a not-so-distant past, a group of aliens known as the Zogglings decided to embark on an intergalactic quest to a little known planet called Earth, where there was rumored to be a fabled delight tastier than anything else in the known universe. This…
-
A Slice of Medieval Madness (Pizza Stories #1)
A story inspired by the greatness of pizza… Once upon a time in the quaint and quirky kingdom of Cheezonia, where the rivers flowed with molten mozzarella cheese and the trees grew pepperoni instead of fruit, the people were obsessed with one dish above all else: pizza. This delectable creation had sparked a peculiar yet…
-
Pizza: The Last Affordable Food
With the cost of living going crazy since 2020, far too many things in our world have dramatically increased in price. Despite the rising costs of everything involved with making a pizza, the cost of a picking up pie from a pizzeria has not really risen much compared to other foods over the years. Why…
-
Pizza Travels – Miami, Oklahoma
Driving through Oklahoma is something most people don’t usually look forward to, but in this case, there is a place that makes the drive a little better. Located in not so scenic northeast Oklahoma on the old Route 66, you’ll find the city of Miami. If you’re wondering, the city in Oklahoma is not named…
-
I Went To Buc-ee’s (Oh My!)
If you haven’t heard of Buc-ee’s yet, you will… First, I have to let you know up front that Buc-ee’s is a highway travel stop, also known as a truck stop, or convenience store that is located primarily in Texas, but they also have other locations in the southern and Midwest United States. You may…
-
A Motivational Post
When it comes to success in life, regardless of what you choose to do, you usually need to have luck or skill. It doesn’t hurt to have both, but what happens if you don’t have either? Life throws many variables at us which we can’t control, or have minimal control over. Luck falls into this…
-
Merica!
It’s the time of year when we celebrate our freedom by blowing up as much stuff as we can… Those who live outside the United States probably get confused when they to try to understand why we do what we do here in America, but for that matter, there are many Americans who are confused…
-
The Incredible Vanishing Blog Writer
Sometimes I think I’m an internet magician. I just randomly disappear from the blogging world. I did it again. In a POOF, I wandered away from the writing world once again (it’s getting to be a bad habit). Maybe I was abducted by aliens. Maybe I fell down a well. Maybe I was abducted by…
-
The Real Reason Aliens Visit Earth: Pizza
If your planet isn’t in the pizza delivery zone, what would you do??? The real reason aliens visit Earth is because they are picking up pizza carryout orders. In 2001, astronauts on the International Space Station who were orbiting Earth had a craving for pizza. Pizza Hut became the first restaurant to deliver pizza into…
-
Vinyl Records – History Repeats Itself
You can’t find CD’s anymore, but nearly every store sells vinyl records now… Back in my younger days (waaaay back in the 1990’s), I was a professional DJ for many years of my life. . There was no internet yet (gasp!), so when we wanted to search for new music we had to go actually…
-
The Cool Thing About Being A Writer
You probably wouldn’t recognize me standing next to you in an American grocery store, but people in third world countries know who I am… I don’t have a ton of followers, but I do have a lot of readers. Most of my readers are in the United States, but many are scattered all over the…